Healing Suki
by DeepAzulaEyes
Summary: After her rescue from prison, Suki still has wounds that haven't healed; wounds that can't be healed with bending. The first chapter isn't fantastic, but the story picks up and gets more interesting. Please R&R! T for safety; there's nothing explicit.
1. Damaged

The river's ebb stroked Suki's bare feet. She tried to imagine that the little river was the ocean that surrounded her island home. She saw a small fish jump and imagined it to be the fierce Unagi. She closed her eyes and tried to take herself back to that time before – before she met Azula, before she was imprisoned, before she had this great void inside of her.

She pulled her knees to her chest and rested her head atop them. A single, silent tear slid from her eye, dripped from her cheek to her knee, and made its way down her bare leg to her foot where it was washed away, down the river.

A half an hour passed in delicate silence with Suki gazing out across the water, her thoughts churning in her mind. She heard Katara's voice in the distance, calling everyone together. Dinner time. Suki stood and bent over the river, splashing a bit of water over her face. She moved to the red heap of clothing that made up her outfit – Katara had gone into a fire Nation village and bought it for her. Katara didn't know why Suki had asked for something that covered her midriff – not in this heat – but Katara hadn't seen the scar.

Standing before the river in her white undergarments, the evil red scar was highly visible. It smiled viciously across her stomach, covering six inches of skin above her navel. It hugged her all the way around, clawing its way across her back. Suki didn't want anyone to see it.

She pulled her red clothes on and headed away from her stream sanctuary.

**:–:–:–:**

As usual, the meal was rather quiet. They were an awkward new group – Zuko was not yet trusted, and he was always being watched out of the corners of the others' eyes. Haru was quiet, most likely thinking about his father – as he always was. The Duke was silently pushing his soup around in his bowl, flipping the vegetables over and over with his spoon. Katara was keeping an eye on everyone and everything, playing the protective mother in the group. Aang was immersed in thought, staring at the ground without seeing it. Teo fiddled with his goggles. Zuko didn't look at anyone, but stared at his bowl – he didn't want to see the looks the others were giving him. As Suki sat beside Sokka he asked her softly, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Suki said. She saw Toph shift and put a hand on the ground in a single subtle movement. Toph knew she was lying. They all knew. Ever since they'd rescued her, they saw that Suki had changed. That something was not quite right.

The truth was, _nothing_ was quite right.

Although the others were kind and understanding, Suki felt isolated – as though she might as well still be in prison. She had been rescued, but that didn't make her free. She had suffered abuse and neglect at the hands of her captors but was too proud to admit – even to herself – that she had been hurt. She tried to brave it alone. It tore her apart.

She longed to be one of them – whose smile did not mask pain, who laughed freely, who had not been damaged as she had. She ached with the wanting. She thought she knew now how the ocean felt – always chasing the moon but never able to reach it. She was slowly and silently drowning in her pain, collapsing into the emptiness that filled her - and she didn't know how to stop it.

After dinner Suki went off to be by herself again. She stood at the edge of the river and watched the sky paint itself the colors of the sunset. But the sun did not seem to be consumed by the darkness, but rather it let the darkness slide into its place – it embraced the darkness. How could she embrace the darkness inside of herself? The pain? The loneliness? The sorrow? The fear?

She didn't know. She turned her back to the sunset. She could never be like that. She retreated into the forest where the darkness shrouded her, but she did not acknowledge it. And she did the same internally, retreating inside of herself, ignoring the void. The result was that Suki became hollow. She went through the empty motions of day-to-day life, floating but not really feeling. Her depression deepened, taking control of the deepest recesses of her heart. Soon, it would destroy her.

**:–:–:–:**


	2. Wanting Something

It was a calm day. The sun kissed the treetops and the river hummed serenely. The woods were gentle and quiet. It was on that day Suki and Sokka went out to collect firewood. It was the first time they had been alone together since the Serpent's Pass.

Suki's usual inner turmoil persisted, agitated in this calm atmosphere where there was no way to distract herself properly. Everything she had been through raced through her mind. Every memory, every thought, every desire danced around her in a confusing whirl of sounds and images. Slowly the noise inside of her mind built. She couldn't see – she couldn't hear – she was surely dying – what else could cause this? – the emptiness was encroaching, soon she would be gone –

Sokka happened to glance up at that moment. He saw Suki standing there, her eyes shut tight, her hands pressed over her ears. He stared as she shook her head slightly and then fell to her knees. Sokka dropped his wood and bolted to her side. She was breathing hard and didn't react when he placed a hand on her shoulder, but before Sokka could do anything else, a piercing, echoing scream erupted from Suki.

She was screaming for everything – her imprisonment, her abuse, her anger, her pain, for her friends – the Kyoshi warriors – because she might never see them again. For everything she had suffered, endured, wished for, lost and everything she had felt she screamed.

Sokka franticly called her name and and tried to take her hands off her ears. He touched her face in hopes that she might open her eyes and be brought back, that she would see that it was all okay and there was nothing to fear, but Sokka didn't know the depths of Suki's damage.

He was desperate to get her out of this trance – or seizure – or stupor – whatever it was. He grabbed her wrists and tried to wrench her hands away, all the while shouting, "Suki, please! It's me, it's Sokka! Come on, Suki, please!"

She fell silent. She was breathing hard but her muscles were relaxed. Sokka let out a sigh of relief and then said gently, "Suki, are you all right?"

Her eyes snapped open.

"Sokka."

"Suki, what was that? What happened?"

But Suki didn't hear him. Her head was filled with a blank, white nothing. She was aware only that Sokka was in front of her. All else was static. Nonexistent.

"Suki?"

All she knew was that moment. She kissed him. But it was not a sweet, gentle kiss, but a challenge. A kiss that wanted more.

Sokka stepped back.

"Suki, what –"

A rush filled Suki. She was aware only of how real Sokka was and how much she wanted to taste his lips once more. She pushed him back against a tree and kissed him again, and this time one hand found a place at the base of his neck while the other began untying his belt. She could feel and hear each breath he took.

Sokka pushed her off again with a bewildered, "What are you doing?"

"Whatever I want," Suki said, going back for more.

She succeeded in untying Sokka's belt. She slipped a hand inside the now open folds of his blue shirt, running a hand across his warm body. Sokka pushed her away again, saying, a pleading in his voice, "Suki, you don't know what you're doing."

"Yes, I do. I want this." She kissed him again, her hands caressing his neck and chest, pressing her body even closer. But Sokka resisted; he turned his head, tearing his lips from hers, pushing her way once more.

"No, Suki. This isn't what you want."

"Yes, it is." Their mouths connected.

Sokka pulled himself sideways so that he was no longer trapped against the tree. Retying his belt, he said, "Suki, stop. Think about it. What is it that you _really_ want?"

"You."

Before she could take more than a step forward, Sokka reached out and held her by the shoulder at arm's length, staring her down. _What is it that you _really_ want?_

Like a bolt of lighting, everything struck her at once. What she had done. Why she had done it. What she was looking for. All that had caused her so much damage. It was time to face the darkness.

Tears stung her eyes.

She dropped to her knees, and Sokka knelt beside her. With the ultimate tenderness, he said, "Suki, talk to me. Tell me what's going on."

She shook her head and tears graced the forest floor.

"Sokka," she said, choking on a sob. "I was in prison for months. Why did it take you so long to come get me?"

Sokka put his arm around her. He knew – ever since the Day of Black Sun – that this question would be asked someday.

"Suki, I didn't find out for a long time. And then we were fighting in Ba Sing Se, and then we had to prepare for the invasion." Suki looked at him with hurt in her eyes. "Suki, I wanted to find you. I did. But we didn't know where you were or how to get you out –" Sokka was trying, and failing, to convince himself, as well as Suki, that he had done everything he could. They both knew he hadn't – not quite. But what Suki didn't know was that Sokka was afraid of what he might find when he found her. He wanted to cling to the memory of her as the brave, strong warrior who loved him. It hurt him to see her weak. And it hurt even more to think that she gave up on him.

He did his best to tell her all of this, his words clumsily stumbling from his mouth. But Suki understood what he meant. But she was still not quite satisfied.

"Sokka, do you know what happened to me?"

He wasn't sure what she meant.

"Every day I was reminded that nobody cared. That I was alone. That no one loved me enough to save me the one time when I couldn't save myself. Sokka, do you know what it's like to think that the one person you thought would always be there has left you behind?"

He understood.

"During the Day of Black Sun, Azula told me that you gave up on me. And the worst part was – I knew that you were right to. I know I didn't come when I should have, but – Suki, every day I though about you. Every day I prayed you would be okay. _Every day_ I loved you." It was all sliding into focus now. "That's what you wanted, wasn't it? You wanted to know that I love you. And you thought that if you . . . you thought that would make me love you. Didn't you?"

Suki nodded through silent tears and leaned against him. Finally, someone understood.

"Suki, the reason I stopped you was because I couldn't let you do something you might regret. I love you too much to let you."

A small part of the void inside of Suki was filled. She sighed.

"Thank you."

**:–:–:–:**

There was still more darkness for her to face. But she had taken the first step. There was a long, hard journey ahead of her, but she knew she could make it.

She could become complete again.

_A/N: I wanted this story to be a little bit edgy, and this is what I came up with. I'm not quite sure how long it will end up being or what will happen, but I've got a third chapter in the works and hopefully that will be up soon – and I'll see where the story goes from there. Comments/Reviews appreciated :)_


	3. Sharing Scars

Footsteps fell upon the ground. Suki looked up to see Zuko approach the riverbank, and her eyes followed him as he bent over the water and splashed a bit on his face and neck. It wasn't until a moment later, as he glanced around, that he saw Suki perched on her rock, watching him.

"Sorry," he said, standing and moving away from the river. "I didn't realize you were here. I'll leave you alone if you want –"

"It's okay," Suki said. "I've been spending too much time alone anyway."

It was true; Suki would go off by herself more out of habit than anything, and would find herself lonely. But she was still shy around the others. She couldn't seem to win; she wasn't happy alone, but she wasn't comfortable surrounded by people, either. She still felt like an outsider.

The Fire Nation boy sat a small distance away from Suki, staring down into the water. Gentle silence settled.

This is what Suki liked about Zuko; he always knew when someone wanted to be left to their thoughts. He was good at reading people – Suki had seen it in his interactions (or lack thereof) with the others. Zuko knew when to let Katara concentrate on her bending, and knew not to ask Haru if he was okay when he was acting surly. Zuko never tried to tell The Duke to behave – Jet's free spirit had rubbed off on the boy. He knew Sokka was prone to moments of silence on moonlit nights and it was best not to bother him during these times. And he knew never, _ever_ to ask Toph if she needed help.

Suki tried to read Zuko. He looked . . . sad? Well, that much was obvious. She didn't have quite the aptitude for reading people he had. Her mind wandered to Azula. From what Suki had heard of her, Azula could read people, too. She thought about how the two siblings used this ability in vastly different ways, but her thoughts were interrupted when Zuko said, timidly, "Uh, Suki, you were in prison for a while, right?"

"Right." Suki was guarded. She had barely spoken with anyone about her incarceration, let alone Zuko, who was still a stranger to her.

"Well, while you were there, did you hear anything about General Iroh?"

"I heard that he was there, and that on the Day of Black Sun he escaped. But there are a lot rumors as to how he did it – some said that he was able to firebend even during the eclipse, and others said he had help from the spirits – but all of them were rubbish. All I know for sure is that he did escape."

"So, you don't know where he went?"

"No."

"Oh. Okay. Thanks, though. I just thought you might know something."

"I take it you haven't seen him for a while then, have you?" Suki had softened, and was genuinely concerned about Zuko.

"No, I haven't. And I haven't heard anything about him. I just hope nothing bad happened to him."

"I'm sure he's all right. If he could get out of that prison, I'm sure he could survive being out, too."

"You're probably right. It's just that, if anything happened to him . . ." Zuko trailed off.

"What is it?"

Zuko sighed. He'd been carrying this weight for some time now. Maybe telling someone would help.

"Well, if he got hurt, it would sort of be my fault. If I'd never joined Azula, he never would have been arrested."

"Zuko, you can't let yourself think that way. There is no 'if'. What happened is what happened." Zuko was looking at her intently, listening hard and ruminating on what she had said. Suki found this not awkward or uncomfortable, but pleasant. Zuko was very easy to talk to. She continued. "We've all made a lot of mistakes – but all you can do is try to make things better. And you've already made the first step – you joined the Avatar." As Suki spoke, she realized that she wasn't the only one with a journey to complete. Suki picked a fallen leaf up from the ground. It was brown, cracked, and crumbling. "You have to let yourself move on from things. You can never have a future when you're dwelling on the past." And with that, she tossed the leaf into the river and watched it get carried away. A breeze blew, shifting the branches of the trees, and at first she was covered by shadow. But a second breeze rippled, and sunlight danced around her.

"You know, it's not always that easy," Zuko said, sounding slightly defensive.

"No, it's never easy. But we can't stop just because it's difficult. Or painful. That's when we need the hardships most. That's when we need to heal the most." Suki found the words just coming to her, as if they'd always been a part of her. Maybe they'd formed as she healed. Or maybe she healed as they formed. Either way, she felt the two connected.

Zuko's hand absently found its way to his scar, his white fingers running over the red mark. "But some scars . . ."

"Survive to remind us of the wound. We can't erase them. But we can learn from them."

"You don't know what it's like." He sounded bitter and he looked away, staring at the water, anger lingering in his eyes.

"Look at this." Suki lifted her shirt a bit, revealing the scarlet kiss. Zuko's eyes widened.

"How did you get that?"

"Azula," Suki said. She didn't say any more – she didn't want to go into details. She wasn't sure if she was ready to quite yet.

"I'm sorry." From Zuko's expression, one might have thought it was he – not Azula – who had scarred her.

"It's not your fault."

"I guess not, but still . . . Azula is my sister, and, well . . ."

"And you're very different."

Zuko found a dead leaf on the ground and picked it up. He looked at Suki, and they shared soft smiles. Zuko released the leaf into the air, and it drifted down into the river and out of sight.

"Thanks, Suki."

"I didn't really do anything," she said with a half-shrug and a smile.

"You forgave me. I was responsible for burning your island, but you treated me . . . nicely. And you're the only one who isn't watching me all the time – you're not not expecting me to go back to the way I used to be. You're the only one who doesn't treat me like . . . _Prince_ Zuko."

Suki shrugged. "I guess I'm just tired of being angry."

Her words resonated with Zuko. He rose to his feet and bowed, saying,"You are very wise."

He turned and started to walk away, but Suki called, "Zuko?"

"Yes?"

"Could you maybe . . . not tell the others about my scar yet? It's just that . . ."

Zuko nodded with a gentle smile on his mouth. They shared an understanding.

"It's okay. I won't tell them."

"Thanks." Zuko bowed again and then left.

Suki stretched out on her rock, staring at the leafy canopy above her. Another piece of the void filled. Another ray of sunlight. Another leaf taken away, down the river.


	4. Silences

"Katara, I think we're out of firewood," Aang said.

"Seriously?" I thought we just got some a few days ago," she replied as she poured rice into the pot before her, which was hanging over a single-log fire.

"Well, I guess we used it all," Aang said, filling a basket with food to bring to Appa.

"Suki, Sokka, will you two go out and gather some wood?" Katara asked distractedly.

Suki and Sokka shared a nervous look. Their minds were ringing with the memories of their last wood-collecting venture. It was silent as Katara waited for their response.

"Guys?" It was Aang's voice. Everyone was staring at them.

"Sure, we'll do it," Sokka said, not meeting Suki's eyes. He started to leave, and Suki followed, several paces behind.

Everyone watched them, confused. For the past few days, something seemed to be amiss between the two of them. But neither seemed angry, and both insisted nothing was wrong. But still . . . there was an unseen rift that everyone could sense. But since Suki and Sokka said nothing, the others were left silently wondering.

Katara's eyes narrowed slightly as she watched them leave, thinking.

Once in the woods, Suki found herself uncomfortable with the silence. It didn't feel right to her – she missed the simple relationship she used to share with Sokka – where silence was just fine. _But then you had to go and ruin it_, she thought harshly to herself.

Sokka seemed equally ill at ease – as he moved he seemed to make an extra amount of noise; stepping on twigs and piles of dead leaves as he crashed through bushes he could have easily sidestepped, trying to kill the quiet. Unfortunately, neither Suki nor Sokka really knew which was the first step to take. _Well, since this is my fault, I should be the first to say something_, Suki thought. Deep down she knew it really wasn't her fault – that she was distraught and had been acting due to trauma, but she still felt like she should be the first to speak.

"Sokka, listen," she said, examining the birch branch in her hand. "I want to talk about what happened . . . you know, last time."

Sokka didn't respond, but she knew he was listening.

"I'm really sorry. I just . . . lost it."

"You lost it?" Sokka's tone was unreadable.

"Yes."

There was a restless silence.

"That's all?"

"Yes. Well, no," Suki found the words to be awkward in her mouth – she didn't know what to say. "I guess it was just . . . Sokka, I'm dealing with a lot of stuff right now."

"Stuff?"

"Yes, stuff." Suki was beginning to get a little bit annoyed with this aloof attitude

Sokka was carrying.

"What kind of stuff?"

"I went through a lot these past few months . . . and I'm still trying to put the pieces back together."

"The pieces of what?"

Suki couldn't stand Sokka's coldness.

"Of my life, Sokka! You don't get it, do you? I lost everything. And I hurt people – I hurt myself. I did things I can't take back. And I went through a lot. I'm still trying to make everything right – I'm still trying to figure out how to move on with my life. And I have a long way to go . . . And the last thing I need is for you you to stand there acting like you know better than me! Just a few days ago you were telling me you loved me! Where did _that_ Sokka go?" She was breathing slightly harder now, but it felt good to say this to him, for he had been so distant the past few days.

Sokka's appraising and skeptical look fell from his face, and with it fell the condescending attitude. He looked ashamed.

"I'm sorry, Suki."

She continued to pierce him with a look. Sokka sighed – a sigh that meant what he was going to say next wouldn't be easy for him.

"Suki, you've changed so much since the Serpent's Pass. And I know that a lot has happened to you since then." Sokka looked at Suki, and she was surprised by the expression on his face. Loss. "I guess that, somehow, I thought you would be the same when we got you out of prison."

"I'm not." Suki spoke in a hollow tone.

"I know. And I should have known that you would be different somehow, but when we found you again, you had changed so much that I –"

"Didn't like me anymore?" Suki sounded deeply wounded.

"No. That's not it. That's definitely not it."

"What is it, then?"

"Suki, I didn't know how to deal with it. I've never met anyone like you before, and the fact that you were able to survive everything you have is amazing. Suki, I wanted to help you put your life back together, but I didn't know how."

They were still standing several yards apart.

"And what happened last time . . . Suki, I was just . . . I didn't know what was going on! I can't imagine what's been going on in your mind – I mean, I know you told me you wanted to know I loved you, but –"

"Do you want to know what's been going through my mind?"

They looked at each other. With his eyes, Sokka pleaded with Suki to help him understand.

"Yes, I was looking for proof that someone loved me. But that was only part of it. There was so much more to it than that. So much has happened – and is happening – and there was so much going through my mind that I somehow just turned it all off. I just took myself away from everything. I was so confused, and . . . I think I was just looking for some way to stop myself from feeling – empty. Sokka, I didn't really feel anything but this huge hole. And I'm still trying to figure out how to make that feeling go away."

A breeze stroked the warriors' skin, making them both feel as though this marked a fresh beginning.

"Suki, I want to help you. What can I do?" Sokka took a step forward, holding a hand out to her.

Suki took his hand in hers and said softly, "Promise me you'll be there?"

"Always."

They embraced, keeping their arms around each other in a promise.

:–:–:–:

_AN: I thought that Suki and Sokka should talk about what happened in chapter 2, and this is what unfolded. The next chapter should be up soon, which makes me very happy :) The next chapter is lighter and happier, which I think is needed right about now._


	5. Laughter

"And then Aang goes, 'Will you go penguin sledding with me?'" Katara said, beaming.

A ripple of laughter passed over the group – they hadn't expected a random, childish request – Katara told the story as if it held some profound moment in the end.

"What about the time Toph made you fly up in the air and land on Sokka – sleeping bag and all?" Aang shot back at Katara with a wide smile on his face.

It was raining outside, but they were all warm and dry, sitting around a fire in a large room in the Western Air Temple, telling stories and enjoying each others' company. Even Zuko was joining in – he told them (rather nervously, at first) about when Azula put an apple on Mai's head and lit it on fire.

"And I thought she was in trouble, so I ran to knock the apple off of her head, but I tripped, crashed into her, and we both landed in the fountain and got soaked."

Laughter echoed off the walls.

"Remember when I made an earth tent around Sokka and He couldn't get out?" Toph said with a mischievous smile.

"I don't remember that," Katara said. "I don't think you ever did that."

"Oh, that's right! My bad." And with that, Toph bent a small earth tent around Sokka, trapping him.

"Oh, come on!" Came Sokka's muffled voice. "Let me out!" He pounded the rocks with his fists and everyone laughed again.

"Sorry, Snoozels," Toph said, grinning.

"Haru?" Sokka begged, desperately. "Haru, you'll let me out, right?"

Haru chuckled and said, "Sorry, Sokka. Earthbender's honor. I can't take down her tent." Toph and Haru shared an amused moment before Toph said, "Fine, I'll let you out . . ." She brought the rock walls down, revealing a flustered Sokka.

"Why do you insist on earthbending at me all the time?" Sokka asked in his usual post-torment tone.

"Because I can." Toph sent Sokka into the air. He let out a yell before he landed squarely on Katara.

"Ow! Sokka! Get off!"

"It's not my fault . . ." he muttered, resuming his place beside Suki.

Another hour passed with anecdotes, and everyone was having a good time. The only one who hadn't yet offered a story was Suki. She had been having fun just being with and listening to them. It was Aang who first said, "Suki, you haven't told us anything yet. You've got to have some sort of interesting story. Come on, tell us something!"

The others joined in, and soon there was a chorus of voices begging Suki for a story.

"Okay, okay," she said, smiling. "I'll tell you one."

Everyone quieted and watched Suki as she spoke.

"Well, there was this guy who was visiting Kyoshi Island. He thought he was tough and cool and that _girls_ couldn't fight." Suki shot a sideways glance at Sokka. "He said he was the best warrior in his village, and we – the Kyoshi warriors – decided to humor him. We asked him to show us how good he was –"

"Did you take 'im down?!" The Duke asked excitedly.

"Of course I did!" Suki said. "It was pretty easy."

"What happened then?" The Duke's eyes were wide with excitement.

"Well, he left the dojo because he was so embarrassed." Everyone but Sokka chuckled. "He came back the next day and apologized for being rude, though. And then he asked me to teach him."

"Did you teach him?" The Duke asked with enthusiasm.

"Yes, I did."

"Was he good?"

"He was pretty good . . . but the best part was I made him dress like a Kyoshi warrior – he had to follow our traditions, and that included the dressy uniform and the makeup." Sokka blushed furiously as everyone else broke into laughter. "Unfortunately, our training session ended early because Kyoshi Island was attacked."

Nobody noticed Zuko's expression change from light amusement to a stormy guilt. Nobody but Suki.

"What happened?!"

"Well, Kyoshi island survived the attack," Suki didn't want to bring into light the fact that it had been Zuko attacking. She had noticed Katara's face darken and decided to press on. "But my new friend had to leave Kyoshi."

"Did you ever see him again?" The Duke's eyes were shining.

"Yes, I did. And I think he's someone you all know."

"Who?" Everyone's interest peaked again.

"Do you want to tell them?" Suki asked, turning to Sokka.

"Yeah, all right, it was me," Sokka said exasperatedly. His tone didn't quite match the fond smile on his face.

"She made you wear a dress?!" Zuko sounded so unlike himself as he said it. Suki was pleased – Zuko was starting to come out of his shell.

"Yeah, she did. But now I can fight off an opponent using only a fan!" He was trying – and failing – to reassert his manliness. "And besides, I let her beat me."

"If it makes you feel better to think that way . . ." Katara trailed off, grinning at her brother.

"I did!" Sokka's voice cracked as he said it.

"Sure, you did," Suki said with a coy smile.

"I did . . ." And Sokka continued to mumble as the others laughed.

**:–:–:–:**

For hours they all talked and laughed together, and it wasn't until they noticed The Duke asleep on the floor that they realized how late it must be.

"I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm tired," Katara announced, rising to her feet. "I'm going to bed. And I think he wants to, too," she added, pointing at The Duke. She bent over and put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on, It's time to put you in bed, Duke."

Sleepily he mumbled, "It's _The_ Duke . . ." as Katara picked him up and began to carry him from the room.

"I'm tired, too," said Aang. With a faint _whoosh_ of air he floated into a standing position and followed after Katara. The others rose and left slowly, realizing how inviting the prospect of sleep was.

Suki and Sokka brought up the rear of the group, holding hands. They headed down the hallway, people disappearing into their rooms one by one ahead of them, until Suki and Sokka were the only ones left. When they reached Suki's door, they paused and faced each other.

"Good night, Sokka," Suki said softly.

"Night," he replied. And with a gentle kiss to her forehead and a gentle squeeze to her hand, he moved down the hallway and, Suki disappeared into her room.

Katara, who had been leaving The Duke's room after settling him in, had seen this. She smiled.

It wasn't until Suki was nearly asleep when she realized she had been content the whole day. No memories to haunt her – not while she was enjoying time with the others. Suki fell asleep with a smile on her face.

**:–:–:–:**

_AN: I thought that everyone needed a lighter chapter. What I was aiming for was for Suki to act as she did in the Serpent's Pass, and I'm happy with how it turned out. I'm also planning for there to be more interactions between Suki and The Duke in later chapters – I have a few ideas for that. I haven't written the next chapter yet, because I'm still tossing ideas around in my head – I have a list written on rather attractive pink paper :) As always, reviews are appreciated._

_Since I haven't done this yet – Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar (because I'm sure you all thought I did). Just in case. If I did own Avatar, that would be extremely cool._


	6. The Calm

A jet of fire extended away from Zuko's closed fist.

"Like that," he said. He stepped back and looked at Aang expectantly.

"Um . . . could you show me again?" Aang asked nervously. Zuko nodded and repeated the punching motion.

"Uh . . ." Aang sounded hesitant.

"It's not that difficult," Zuko said, rather harshly.

Katara let out a frustrated breath as she bent the water out of a pile of freshly washed clothing.

Katara, Suki, and Toph were sitting on a nearby boulder, keeping an eye on Zuko and Aang (figuratively in Toph's case).

"He's never going to learn unless Zuko pushes him. If Aang went at his own pace, we might as well just hand the Firelord victory!" Toph said in response to Katara's unpleasant attitude.

"I know. I just –"

"Don't trust him," Suki finished Katara's sentence for her. "We know. But Aang has to learn and Zuko's the only one who can teach him." Katara didn't reply.

"Come on, Katara. Zuko was telling the truth when he said that he wanted to join us and all that stuff. And anyway, if Zuko was bad, I think Azula would have attacked us by now," Toph said, playing with her meteor bracelet, bending it into different shapes.

"You couldn't tell when Azula was lying, though," Katara reminded her.

"Yeah, and she's the only person to fool me. I don't think that Zuko has that ability."

"How can you be sure?"

"He said he liked that soup you made last night. I could tell he was lying about that."

Katara's face turned sour for a moment and she muttered something about "bad cabbage."

"Either way, at least he's getting Aang to bend," Suki commented as the smallest puff of fire emerged from Aang's fist.

"Yeah, sometimes Twinkletoes needs a little encouragement. And sometimes you just need to force him – I had to take his staff to make him earthbend."

"I still don't like him," Katara muttered, glaring at Zuko. She picked up her basket of clothing and walked away, clearly still agitated.

"She'll get over it," Toph said, nonchalantly.

"Do you think she knows something about Zuko we don't?" Suki asked.

"I don't think so. I think he fooled her once before, and she doesn't like being fooled. So she doesn't like him."

"What about you?"

"What?"

"Do you think he's good?"

"Yeah, I guess I do. I mean – Azula's crazy. Zuko's not. I think he was telling the truth. Why – what do you think?"

Suki studied Zuko, who was drilling Aang with a series of kicks and punches.

"I think he's changed."

There was a lull in the conversation.

"Hey Toph, Suki." Sokka was headed over, carrying fruit in his hands. "Katara sent me over."

"What for?" Suki asked, taking the mango Sokka offered her.

"She didn't really say, but I think she just wants to make sure Zuko doesn't get a chance to capture Aang or anything like that."

"We're here! What, does she think we're in on the plot, too?" Toph asked indignantly through the papaya in her mouth.

"Hey, I'm just here because she sent me," Sokka said, planting himself on the rock in between Toph and Suki. Suki noticed Toph slide just a little bit closer to Sokka.

"So, is Aang any good with firebending yet?" Sokka asked (a tiny piece of mango fell from his mouth as he asked).

"He's still just doing the basics," Suki said.

"It he being careful?" Sokka asked.

"Yeah, he actually seems really nervous about bending fire." Suki said. "Why?"

"He tried to firebend a while back and he burned Katara."

"Seriously?" Toph asked.

"Was she okay?"

"Yeah, she was fine. She actually found out that she could heal because of it."

As Suki put the pieces together she sighed, "So that's why he doesn't want to firebend."

"Yep, that's why."

It was at that moment that Aang sent a particularly large stream of fire through the air, causing Zuko to jump back with a loud, "Hey!"

When the fire dissolved, they saw Zuko examining a burn on his arm.

"Hang on, Aang," Zuko said. "Let me wash this off." Zuko turned and headed toward the river.

Aang, looking forlorn, said, "Somebody go get Katara."

Suki slid off the rock and she started heading back to the temple, walking quickly.

"Katara," Suki called when she saw the waterbender, folding and sorting the laundry. "Come quick, Aang burned someone." Suki didn't mention it was Zuko out of fear that Katara might refuse to come, or else walk slowly.

They arrived at the river where Sokka, Toph, and Zuko were gathered together while Zuko splashed water on his reddened arm. Aang was nowhere in sight. As soon as Katara realized who the burn victim was, she shot Suki a look that clearly said, _You didn't tell me _he_ was the one that got burned_. Her movements lost some of their urgency, but she tended to him nonetheless.

Without speaking, Katara bent some of the water out of the river and around her hand. Zuko watched in amazement as the water glowed silver, and his eyes widened further as she placed her hand on his arm. The water wound its way around his arm, still glowing.

The water swirled there for a moment before Katara let it fall to the ground. Zuko stared at his arm, which bore no signs of having been burned – it was as good as new. He ran his opposite hand over the smooth skin.

"Thank you," he said, looking up with a smile. But Katara was already storming away. Zuko's smile disappeared; he looked almost hurt.

Sokka watched his sister go and said, "I'm sure she doesn't hate you as much as it looks like she does."

Zuko stood up and looked around.

"Where's the Avatar?" he asked.

"That direction," Toph said, pointing upriver. "Maybe we should let him be for a while."

"No, he needs to learn firebending. He can't keep avoiding it."

"Are you sure that's the best way to do it?" Sokka asked.

"Positive."

"All right, you're the teacher," Sokka said, not sounding convinced.

Sokka, Toph, and Suki started to head off while Zuko walked upriver. Suki walked slowly on purpose, and, as she had hoped, soon Aang and Zuko were walking several yards behind them. She could hear them talking, but she couldn't quite catch their words.

They walked on for several minutes like this until eventually the benders fell silent.

**:–:–:–:**

"I'm glad I found you here." Zuko had just approached the river, a bundle of clothes in hand, when he saw Suki. "I wanted to thank you."

"You're welcome . . . but for what?"

"For what you told me – it helped me get Aang to start firebending again. All that stuff about making mistakes better, and about how you have to keep going, especially when things get hard. I've been meaning to find you and thank you for a while – I didn't want to do it in front of the others . . . you know. . ."

"Oh, well . . . you're welcome." Suki blushed slightly.

Zuko removed a pair of pants from his pile of laundry and dipped it in the river.

"Let me help you with that," Suki said, moving to the riverbank and taking a shirt from the pile.

"Thanks. I've started washing some of my clothes myself – a few times when I'd get my stuff back from Katara –" he showed Suki a repaired tear in the shirt he was wearing, and another in the pants he was washing. Judging by the clumsy stitches, the prince had done the sewing himself.

"I'm sorry – she's just really protective of Aang. I'll keep an eye on her when she's washing when I can," she smiled. "I'm sure she'll come around."

"I hope she doesn't kill me first." They laughed.

Suki finished washing the shirt in her hand and wrung it out before laying it out smoothly on a sun-drenched rock. She sat back down and fished another shirt out of the pile while Zuko started another pair of pants.

"How's Aang doing with his training?" Suki asked.

"He's still reluctant to do anything big, but he's getting there."

"That's good. I'm sure he'll get more enthusiastic as time goes on."

"I hope so. The drive to achieve is important in firebending."

"Mm," Suki responded distractedly. The shirt she was washing was a deep green – souvenir of Zuko's days in Ba Sing Se. It reminded her of home. She sighed.

"Are you okay?" Zuko asked, studying her face and its solemn expression.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little homesick, I guess."

"What's Kyoshi like?" Zuko asked. "I mean, I've been there, but . . ."

Suki was delighted to talk about her homeland. "Most of the island is made up of forested mountains. And then there's the Crescent Bay where the giant koi fish are – and the Unagi."

"The Unagi?"

"It's a giant sea serpent," Suki explained.

"I think I remember that," Zuko said, thinking back.

"The legend says that the Unagi was a spirit monster that Avatar Kyoshi brought into our world to protect Kyoshi Island. That's why it's the only one in the world." There was a note of pride in Suki's voice.

"You're lucky to have a home you can be proud of," Zuko said bitterly.

"It can't have been easy growing up in the Fire Nation capital," Suki said, thinking of all the things she'd ever heard of Zuko. All the stories.

"No, it wasn't."

Zuko stared darkly into the river for a moment.

"Snap out of it," Suki said, smiling, tossing a soaking wet sock at his head.

"Hey!" Zuko shouted as the sopping cloth hit him in the face. For a second he looked angrily at Suki, but then he started laughing.

"See? It's not so bad," Suki said.

Their laughter was interrupted just then; they heard someone crashing through the bushes. Toph came into view a moment later.

"Come back to the temple, now!"

_AN: Sorry that it's been a while since I've updated (To make up for it, this chapter was a little longer than the others). First I had a supercrazybusy week (so supercrazybusy I had to combine three words into one), then I was sick (not fun), and then I was out of the country. I've already written the next few chapters and I'm very excited about them – I think they're going to be fantasmastical (don't question my random fake word). I also wrote another short Suki fic (much lighter and happier, I'll post it . . . eventually. I really like it, though) and I wrote an Azula fic (finally). And I finally have a cliffhanger of my very own (sniffle). I know this chapter wasn't super exciting, but it's about to get very . . . well, you'll see. Happy reading, I hope you enjoy it! (Bonus points for guessing why I titled the chapter "The Calm")_

_Random note: Can I just say that I love ellipses? (Those are the three periods like this . . .) They are so cool! They're like the three witches in _Macbeth_; they stir up interest and mystery and make it a little foggy and let you guess. Or else they make the characters more human; I mean, really – do you always finish all of your sentences, or do you often let your friends fill in the blanks? Okay, my random babble about punctuation is over now :)_


	7. Storm Clouds

"What's going on?" Zuko asked, standing up and putting one hand on the twin swords that always hung at his side.

"No time. Come on!" Toph shouted, turning to run back.

Abandoning Zuko's laundry by the river, Suki and Zuko followed Toph. When they reached the end of the forest by the temple, they saw the others gathered together, talking loudly.

"I found them! They were at the river!" Toph said. Everyone's eyes were on Suki and Zuko, who glanced at each other, confused.

"Suki, what happened?" Sokka said, stepping between Suki and Zuko.

"You tell me," Suki said. Then she turned to address Katara and Aang. "What's going on?"

"Azula's coming," Aang said. Suki's blood ran cold as she and Zuko shouted in unison, "What?!"

"Don't act so surprised," Katara hissed at Zuko.

"What happened? How did she find us?" Zuko asked urgently.

"You told her where we were." Katara spat the words out harshly.

"We don't know that for sure," Aang said, putting a comforting hand on Katara's shoulder. "Right now we need to get ready for battle. Sokka, any plans?"

"Do we know what kind of attack she's planning?"

Toph crouched down and placed a hand on the ground. Only a moment's pause elapsed before she said, "They're coming in that metal thing that chased us last time. There can't be that many – my guess is that it's just the three girls again."

"Hopefully that'll be all," Katara said, thinking back to how dangerous those three alone were.

"The machine stopped!" Toph cried. "They're just on the other side of that hill."

Everyone waited in tense silence.

Then, over the crest of the hill, three figures dressed in red appeared.

"Duke, go inside – don't come out for any reason!" Katara rarely ordered anyone around, and this time she was deadly serious. Picking up on this, The Duke bolted.

"Thanks for the tip, Zuzu. We never could have done it without your help." Azula's icy voice rang through the air, momentarily freezing everyone to their cores.

Despite the danger before them, nobody could help but glance over at Zuko, whose eyes were wide with shock. Before another moment could pass, Toph bent an earth tent around Zuko, trapping him so that only his head was visible. Azula took no notice of this.

"Good afternoon, Avatar," she said, stepping forward and sending an enormous jet of fire at Aang.

Immediately, Mai and Ty Lee joined the battle. Ty Lee bounced over to Sokka, who had his black-bladed sword drawn. Suki heard her speak to him in her girlish voice, but her words were caught and destroyed in the battle noise. Mai had her attention turned to Haru and Teo, throwing small arrows at them. There was a _swoop_ of air as Teo took off, gliding across the breeze, trying to distract Mai, tossing back the arrows that had lodged in his chair. Katara and Aang, meanwhile, were still fighting Azula, and Zuko was watching it all unfold, struggling fruitlessly against the rock withholding him.

Suki withdrew a pair of fans from her belt. They were made of a flimsy metal; meant for ornamentation, but they were at least something. She was grateful that Katara had consented to buy them; they had been expensive, but Suki had been determined. Her real fans had been stolen by the firebender now dodging a great stream of water only yards away, but Suki would not let herself go unprotected.

She leapt to Sokka's side, helping him to fight off Ty Lee.

"Suki, be careful, she's dangerous!" Sokka shouted.

"I know – I've fought her before," Suki answered. "But I don't intend to lose this time." She lunged at Ty Lee with one of her fans, but Ty Lee flitted out of the way before she could make contact. In fact, Ty Lee seemed to have barely noticed that Suki was there; her brown eyes were fixed on Sokka.

"You're cute when you fight," Ty Lee giggled at Sokka, trying to poke the shoulder of his sword hand.

"Well he's _mine_," Suki said, moving between them. She didn't say it out of jealousy, but because she knew enough about Ty Lee by now to know that this would provide a distraction. Indeed, Ty Lee paused as she asked, "What?" This gave Toph (who was standing nearby) just enough time to make a rock wall rise between Ty Lee and Suki, and she carried Ty Lee away on it. (Suki could hear Ty Lee's muffled "Whoa!")

Four small blades shot through the air, pinning Sokka to a tree. Suki didn't notice this, though, because Ty Lee had escaped from Toph, and Suki was watching her. Provided with a distracted target, Mai sent a trio of knives in Suki's direction – knives that Suki did not notice until –

"Suki, look out!" It was Zuko's desperate voice.

Armed with Zuko's warning, Suki saw the flash of silver and ducked out of harm's way just in time – she could feel one of the knives slice through her shirt, but otherwise the blades didn't touch her.

"Haru, let Zuko out!" Suki shouted.

"But –"

"Do it!"

Haru made a downward motion with his hand and Zuko was free. He immediately turned his attention to Azula, but Suki was unable to watch the proceedings because Ty Lee had just approached (meanwhile, Haru and Teo were facing off with Mai once more).

"Weren't you one of those Kyoshi warriors?" Ty Lee asked brightly as she aimed several punches at Suki's arms. Suki dodged each one and tried to knock Ty Lee's feet out from under her, but was unsuccessful.

"Yes, I _am_ a Kyoshi Warrior," Suki said with pride, blocking another punch from Ty Lee. However, she couldn't block the second fist that came at her, and a few rapid, well-placed prods rendered Suki's right arm useless.

Suki leapt over a small hedge of bushes to put space between herself and her attacker. Just before Ty Lee could leap over the bushes, fire sprang up across the hedge – courtesy of Zuko.

Suki heard Ty Lee shriek with surprise and pain as her hand got burned, and barely a moment after they all heard Mai call to Azula, "I'm out of blades!"

Zuko whirled around and, upon seeing Haru with a raised boulder, shouted, "Don't attack her!" Haru looked up in shock, giving Mai a chance to slip away. Azula was the only one of the three still fighting now (Ty Lee was sitting on the ground by Azula's side, nursing her burn).

The three girls – the acrobat, the knifethrower, and the princess – were at the center of a circle, completely surrounded by the Air Temple refugees. Around them, there were rocks, knives, and icicles strewn about. Several trees bore scorch marks. Everyone had at least a few cuts, bruises, or burns, but no one looked severely injured – no one but Aang, who was leaning heavily on his staff, clutching his side. _What happened?_ Suki wondered – but she had no further time to think about the battle that had happened around her – Zuko was shouting.

"It's over, Azula!"

"Not quite," Azula said.

A massive ball of fire exploded around the Fire Nation girls, hiding them behind flame and smoke. When the air cleared, they had vanished. No one moved for a moment, but they all knew that the girls were long gone – Toph, Katara, Sokka, Zuko, and Aang had seen Azula do this before.

"Aang!" Katara cried, rushing over toward the injured airbender. "What happened?"

"I'm not sure," Aang choked out, still bent double. "Something hit me. It was either fire or –" Katara let out a sound that was half-gasp and half-scream as Aang fell and his injury was revealed. A scarlet mark was spreading across his shirt, and something silver was protruding from his side.

"YOU!" Katara rounded on Zuko, who had turned white with shock at seeing Aang's injury. "YOU told them where we were! YOU planned this! I knew you could never change! It's because of you Aang got hurt –"

"Katara, stop!" Suki had stepped in between Katara and Zuko. "He's on our side!"

"What makes _you_ so sure?!"

"He saved me twice during that battle – he even attacked Ty Lee. He's with us."

"You heard Azula! She said that Zuko –"

"He was fighting against her!"

"They're working together!"

"He's not working with them!"

"Katara, Azula set me up, I didn't –" Zuko didn't get to finish his sentence. Katara had wrenched a great wave of water out of the humid air and hurled it at Zuko, knocking him over.

"GET OUT!" Katara screamed.

For the first time ever, they all saw terror in Zuko's eyes. He stared at Katara for a moment before slowly getting to his feet. He took several slow steps backward before turning and running into the forest.

When he had disappeared, everyone's attention returned to Suki and Katara. They were standing several feet apart, glaring at one another, seething.

So much had changed.

_AN: In "The Chase" (episode 8 in the Earth Season) Azula gets cornered, so she makes this huge explosion and disappears. I decided that that was the best way to have her exit here, too (so please don't leave unkind comments about that. If she can do it once, she can do it again). _

_I'd like to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, favorited (is that a word?) and/or put an alert on this story! You make me feel loved :) Comments and reviews are appreciated!_


	8. Whispers in the Dark

_AN: For the first time ever, I'm starting a chapter with a note. After reading the comments left on chapter seven and rereading it myself . . . I'm not immensely proud of it. I think it was a little substandard for me, but that's just all the more reason to work harder on making the rest better. And, really, isn't that what being a writer is about? Being able to look at your old work and (once the nausea recedes) learn from it? I think so. So thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially anyone who mentioned Zuko (who was kinda OOC)– I looked ahead (I've had the next few chapters written for a while now) and I realized I had Zuko acting almost saintlike (cringe). I'll be revising those before I post them :) Anyway! On to newer chapters._

"Suki. _Suki!_" Someone was whispering in her ear.

"What?" She murmured, turning over in her bed to face the speaker, but it was too dark to see anything more than shapes and shadows.

"It's me."

"Zuko?"

"Yes. Come on."

Suki slid out of bed and followed Zuko out of the room and down the hallway in swift silence until – _CRASH_.

A vase, standing about two feet high, broke as Zuko stumbled into it, knocking it to the floor. Suki heard Zuko say something that sounded like "_flame_it!" before he took her hand and started running. They moved into the open-air courtyard of the Western Air Temple, and there they stopped.

"I came back to get my things," Zuko said softly, indicating the bag he was carrying on his back. "And to thank you for standing up for me, and to tell you –"

"I knew you hadn't plotted with Azula," Suki said, unable to wait until Zuko finished speaking. "Just stay here, lay low for a few days and give everyone a chance to cool off – once Katara's calmed down –"

"I think it's best if I disappear for a while," Zuko said. "Let them find me half-dead in the woods in a week or two, maybe then they'll believe I'm not with the Fire Nation."

"What are you going to do?"

"Hide out for a while. They'll see I have nowhere but here. I'll be okay."

"But you said they'd find you half-dead."

"I thought you'd be able to recognize a joke," Zuko said with a smile. Suki laughed, but her heart was not in it.

"I'll be okay."

"I know you will," Suki said.

Zuko turned and took a few steps away towards the woods, but Suki stopped him by calling quietly after him.

"Wait! There's something I didn't understand."

Zuko turned around.

"What's that?"

"When we were fighting, when Mai –" Suki saw Zuko's face change dramatically. Storm clouds filled his eyes. He didn't look directly at her. "– I was wondering . . . why did you stop Haru from . . . ?"

"I couldn't let anyone hurt her," Zuko's voice was low in volume, but there was power behind it.

"Was she – I mean, were you two – ?"

"Yeah."

There was something odd about Zuko in that moment . . . Suki couldn't quite place it. She just couldn't quite imagine Zuko as one to have a girlfriend, let alone a girlfriend who had once been one of her captors, one of her worst, most deeply personal enemies . . . and then to hear him talk about her like . . . like . . . he had reminded her of Sokka. Sokka, too, tended to feel responsible for those he cared about. _Some things really are universal_, Suki thought.

"Was that all you wanted to know?" Zuko asked hollowly.

"Yes. I'm sorry if that was too . . . personal," Suki said.

"It's okay."

There was a pause.

"I'm going to miss you," Suki said. "You're . . . you're a good friend."

"Thanks," Something in the way Zuko said it made her think that he had never heard this before.

There was a slight, awkward silence before Zuko hugged Suki briefly.

"See you when you get back, then," Suki said.

"Bye."

Within seconds, Zuko vanished into the darkness like breath on a winter's night.

Suki left the courtyard and returned to her room, her thoughts and eyelids heavy.

Had she not been so tired, or had her mind not been so distracted and consumed by her Fire Nation friend, she might have noticed. But she didn't. She didn't notice that Sokka, awakened by the sound of the breaking vase, had followed them. He hadn't heard what they had said, but he had seen them.

_AN: This was just supposed to be a short bridge chapter, the next one – longer and more interesting – will (with any luck) be up soon. Please R&R because it makes me happy :)_

_For the first time, a fic of mine has a theme song (temporarily). This chapter and the next few chapters always make me think of the song "Cold As You" by Taylor Swift, so that is the unofficial theme song for the next few chapters. [ Taylor Swift, please don't sue me. I come in peace :) _


	9. The Storm

The next morning, there was an unnatural quiet as they ate breakfast. Everyone's eyes bounced between Suki and Katara. Normally the two got along marvelously, but now they were curt and cold to one another. Sokka, too, seemed uncharacteristically brusque. Even more alarming was the lack of affection he showed Suki; normally when she sat beside him he would put his arm around her, or at the very least move closer. But today he did neither.

The tension was palpable.

Katara kneeled down facing Aang, so close their knees were almost touching, and asked softly, "How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"Are you sure?"

"It still hurts a little, but I'll be okay," Aang said, resting one hand on his side at the site of the injury.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do more," Katara said, laying her hand atop Aang's. "It's harder on deeper wounds."

"It's okay, Katara." There was a tenderness in Aang's voice, and as he spoke he took his hand off of his wound and placed it gently on Katara's face, giving her a smile full of warmth. Katara reached up and touched her own hand to his, laced her fingers through his, and brought their hands down to rest between them.

Suki felt like an intruder watching this. She averted her eyes; this was a moment for Katara and Aang to share alone.

Sokka cleared his throat. Katara and Aang both blushed, and with slight reluctance they moved their hands apart and shifted so they were facing the group, sitting in a circle around the dying fire. There was an awkward silence until Haru asked, "What now? Do we stay here or move?"

Aang looked at Katara and Sokka and said, "We decided to stay here."

"But what about Azula?" Teo asked.

"She won't expect us to stay here. I think we'll be safe," Aang said. "Speaking of safe . . . has anyone seen Zuko?" (Suki noticed that he didn't seem to be inquiring about the group's safety.)

"No," Katara said. "He's probably back at the palace by now."

"If he _was_ in the imperial city, it would be because Azula had captured and imprisoned him," Suki remarked, ice chipping her tone. There was a pause as everyone waited for Katara's reaction. She surveyed Suki with a cold, angry stare but said nothing.

"What should we do about him?" Aang asked uncomfortably. Suki could tell that Aang wasn't certain of Zuko's guilt, but that he didn't want to anger Katara by mentioning it.

"We could go find him and bring him back," Suki said.

"That would probably be walking right into a trap," Sokka said.

"No, it wouldn't."

"Suki, you heard what Azula –"

"Yes, I heard what she said," Suki snapped, cutting Sokka off. "But I've also talked to Zuko. He's changed. He's been through so much and he's finally better and you're all tying him to his past."

Standing up, Katara asked angrily, "Do you know what he's done to us?"

Suki stood, too.

"Yes! You've all told me. But look at how he is _now_. He's never tried to hurt Aang – or anyone else. _ He's on our side now_. You won't see that because you're –"

"Seeing clearly?!" Katara shouted.

"No, you just don't want to think he's changed." Suki threw the words from her mouth before storming away.

Naturally, she soon found herself at the river.

What had happened? They had all been doing so well – _she_ had been doing so well. Now it was all destroyed, thanks to Azula. Katara hated her, Sokka was angry (though she wasn't quite sure why), and her only true friend was gone . . . maybe forever.

Furious, Suki kicked a rock into the water with a splash. They were all being stupid – believing Azula over Zuko. They couldn't see what Suki saw in Zuko; his caring nature, his vulnerability, his guilty feelings over who he had been. As far as Suki was concerned, her conversations with him were proof enough that he was on their side.

Suki sat down on a rock to think. _I'm all out of words of wisdom, Zuko. Can you help me out?_ Of course, Zuko was miles away and could offer no advice. She knew that. But it was comforting to her just to think about what he would say. For the first time in a long time, Suki was aware of wanting to talk to someone. She thought that, perhaps, if she told someone how she was feeling, she wouldn't feel so bad.

A twig on the ground cracked, and Suki looked up to see Sokka approaching.

"Hey, Suki. I'm sorry Katara's been so –"

"It doesn't matter. I just don't get why she's so determined to hate Zuko."

"He's put us through a lot – I don't know if I trust him, either. I mean, you heard what Azula said."

"So you believe Azula over Zuko?"

"Why would she say it if it wasn't true?"

"To isolate Zuko," Suki said. She had been over this in her mind, and now that she had started there was no stopping her. "If he was on her side, they'd want to keep us in the dark about it so that he could keep acting as a spy! That makes sense. I mean, if Azula's goal was to capture us, she would have brought an army of firebenders – and she wouldn't have retreated so easily. I bet the Fire Nation has bigger plans . . . and Azula just came to get Zuko out of the way!" Suki was pacing back and forth now, her mind working hard . . . _yes_, she thought. _This all makes sense_ . . .

"Why do you keep defending him?" Sokka asked. His tone had changed; it now had an undercurrent of interrogation, catching Suki by surprise. Cautiously she said, "Because I know he's on our side."

"But how do you know that?"

"Because I've actually spoken to him – unlike the rest of you. He's a good person, but the rest of you are intent on having him as an enemy –"

"Suki, he's done this before. He's pretended to change and then –"

"But it's different this time! He's –"

"Why are you so obsessed with defending him?!"

"He's changed! He's not bad – his circumstances made him who he was! Now he's finally better and you all –"

Sokka snapped.

"You're only defending him because you're in love with him!"

"WHAT?!"

"I saw you two together last night! And you're always with him anyway! You could have at least told me you had a new _boyfriend_!"

"You're being absolutely ridiculous!"

"Me?! You're the one who messed everything up! Things were going fine before you had to go and get with Zuko! I've been trying really hard to be understanding – but one look at Zuko and you forget all of that!"

"Sokka, I don't –"

"Maybe it's because he's a bender," Sokka spat. "Do you like having someone powerful at your side to protect you?!"

Suki was burning with anger now. How Sokka would ever dare . . .

When she spoke again, it was slowly and deliberately. She weighed every word. She didn't want there to be any miscommunications this time.

"Zuko has been my friend. He's the only one who understands what I've been through." Suki stared at Sokka, and soon the words fell like a slow rain turning into a storm. "What happened to you? It's always the same thing – one minute you love me, and then the next . . . as soon as I'm not exactly what you want me to be – as soon as I'm not perfect –" Suki was so angry that she couldn't even continue. She ran over everything in her mind . . . she'd heard Sokka promise so many times . . . _she'd heard him promise_ . . .

Suki took in several angry, suffocating breaths before saying, almost inaudibly, "I hate you."

Sokka's jealousy-fueled rage fell away.

"What?" Sokka sounded so small and lost.

"I hate you!"


	10. Flood

Suki was running through the forest alongside the river. She didn't know if Sokka was chasing her – and she didn't care. All she knew was that she was running with no intention of stopping. Somewhere in the back of her mind, something told her to find Zuko. She continued to run until the sun was at the peak of its arc across the sky.

She slowed to a stop, her breathlessness and fatigue catching up with her so that she was forced to stand bent over, her hands on her knees, trying to drink in as much air as she could with each breath.

"Zuko," she tried to call, but her voice was weak from running. She did not sit down; she knew that if she did, she would not be able to force herself up again for a long time. She began walking, wondering where Zuko would be. Of course, he could have been in the opposite direction . . . but she didn't let herself think of that. She just went where her silently aching feet lead her.

Suki noticed a moss-covered log stretched across the river and approached it. She stood on the edge, bringing her foot down several times on it, hard. There was a satisfying _klunk_ sound, which meant that it was thick and sturdy. She stepped across slowly, foot by foot. It seemed the right thing to do; perhaps Zuko had crossed the river in search of shelter.

It really was a pity that Suki didn't have Toph's ability to see by sensing vibrations. Then she might have been aware of the termites gnawing away at the hollow center of the log.

As Suki took her fifth step, there was a loud _crack_. Before she could try to step off, there was a second _crack_ and Suki was plunged into the water. For an instant, all of her muscles seized up; it was as if she had been petrified by the freezing water. She kicked her legs furiously, propelling herself to the surface. Suki coughed and spat out water, trying to clear her head so she could concentrate. The rapids swept her several yards down river before she managed to grab a boulder, clinging on with all of her strength. But she was weak and tired from all of the running. That, coupled with the icy cold water that made it hard just to breathe, was enough to make Suki want to close her eyes and let go . . .

Suki shook her head. _Think_, she told herself. _Think . . ._

She looked around, searching for a way out. Assistance came in the form of a tree by the edge of the water. Several of its thick roots were extending down into the water just yards away. If she could grab one of the roots, she could pull herself over to the uneven shoreline and climb out using the tree. With this plan in mind, Suki let go of the rock and let the river carry her off.

She lunged for one of the tree's root and managed to grasp it in one hand. She took hold of it with her other hand and began moving slowly to the riverbank this way: hand over hand. It seemed to take forever, but at last she reached the trunk of the tree, which protruded into the water. It took all of her strength and her warrior's determination to pull herself up and out, but she did it.

Suki was on her hands and knees on the grassy floor as she coughed and choked. She was so very tired . . . but she knew that she had to go back to the temple; she couldn't stay here in her soaking wet clothes for too long – she'd freeze if she stayed until nightfall.

But as Suki forced herself to stand, her mind reeled. She saw a swirl of light and heard a distant pounding in her skull – and then her world turned black.


	11. Aftermath

Suki shivered. She rolled over and pulled the fat blanket over her head. Dimly she wondered, _Did I fall asleep here?_ She struggled to remember. She could recall . . . water. Lots and lots of water. She remembered pulling her soggy self up and out of the river and falling on the ground and then . . . nothing.

She opened her eyes slowly and found herself surrounded by a puffy whiteness. She was in her own bed – but how had she gotten there? She wanted to get up, but she was far too tired. She closed her eyes again.

Several hours later she awoke again, and this time she had the energy to sit up (delicately; she still felt a little dizzy). She paused there a moment, waiting for the pressure in her head to recede. Slowly she stood and left the room, keeping her blanket wrapped around her. She headed for the Great Room (the vast, open area of the temple with a giant fountain where they ate meals). She had just begun to wonder what time it was and whether or not all of the others were there when she emerged from the hallway connecting to the Great Room and nearly crashed into Haru, who was heading in the opposite direction.

"Sorry," Haru said, surprised. "How are you feeling?" His tone was hushed, and he walked close beside her as she headed to the fire, around which some of the others were grouped, watching her.

"I'm tired . . . and I'm cold. And I have a headache, but I'm okay," she said.

"Are you sure?" Katara asked.

"Yeah, just . . . what happened?" Suki asked, glancing around. Sokka was missing.

"We were hoping you could tell us," Katara said gently.

"How did I get back here?" Suki asked, siting down. Everyone looked at each other uneasily. Katara shifted uncomfortably and then said, "Zuko brought you here. He said he found you by the river."

"I fell in. I managed to get myself out, but then I think I fainted because I can't remember anything after that."

"Are you sure?" Katara asked.

"Yes," Suki said uneasily – what did they think had happened?

Nonchalantly Toph threw in, "Zuko pretty much said the same thing."

"Where is he?" Suki asked.

"Right below your feet," Toph answered in the same breezy tone.

"What?!" Suki stood swiftly and was plagued by dizziness. She staggered slightly, and Haru, who was closest, leapt up to help her steady herself.

"Shh, take it easy," Haru murmured, but Suki was having none of it.

"What did you –"

"We didn't know what happened and we had to keep –" Katara started to say loudly over Suki, who (ignoring the pounding in her head) shouted, "He probably saved my life and you lock him up?!"

"Suki, we just weren't –" Katara stopped as she noticed Suki's eyes slide out of focus. Suki swayed and she knew that she was about to faint. She blacked out.

Seconds later she was semi-conscious – semi-aware that Haru was carrying her back down the hall to her room with The Duke's small hands supporting her head.

"Can't you heal her?" he asked in the voice of a child watching a butterfly with a damaged wing.

"This isn't the kind of thing I can heal," Katara said gravely.

Haru carried Suki to her bed and set her gently on it.

Suki was still half-asleep, and her mildly formed thoughts were on Zuko.

"Zuko," she murmured. "See him . . . Zuko . . . talk . . ."

"What's wrong with her?" The Duke's tone threatened tears.

"I'm not sure," Katara said as she pulled Suki's blanket over her. "I think it's from being in the water, and . . ." she trailed off, thinking that The Duke might be too young to understand that emotions can make a person ill.

"Zuko . . ."

"She keeps saying his name. Should we –" Katara cut Haru off.

"No. I don't want him near her when she's this sick," Haru sensed that Katara's irrationality stemmed more from fear for Suki than her suspicions about Zuko.

"Katara," he said. "I think she needs to see him. What if I stayed right outside the door?" _Thank you, Haru, _Suki thought.

"Fine. Toph, will you go get him out?"

"I'm on it."

Several minutes later, the room was empty except for Suki. The door swung open, and Suki sat up, and she could see Haru standing outside of it, waiting. Zuko entered and rushed immediately to her bedside.

"What happened?" he asked. "Toph said that you wanted to see me."

"I was hoping that you could give me some answers," Suki said, rubbing her temples to ward off a headache. "Why'd they imprison you if you brought me back?"

"I found you by the river," Zuko started. "You were soaking wet and unconscious, and you were shivering and your lips were blue – I thought that you must have fallen into the river. And I knew that you had to get help, so I carried you back here."

Zuko was sitting on the end of Suki's bed, not looking at her.

"Katara was the first person to see me coming. She probably would have attacked me if she hadn't noticed you. I told her what had happened, and we carried you in here. Katara waterbent you dry, and while she was doing that, she noticed that your shirt got ripped along the back, so she looked to see if you had any injuries."

Suki's hand moved to her back, and, sure enough, there was a wide rip in her shirt, exposing her lower back. She remembered her shirt getting torn by one of Mai's blades during the battle, and she assumed that the hole only got bigger after wearing it both in the water and while passed out on the ground.

"What happened then?" Suki asked.

"I heard her gasp, and I turned around and asked her what was wrong. She hit me with a ton of water and shouted, 'What did you do?' I didn't know what she was talking about at first, but then I remembered –"

"She saw my scar."

"Yes."

"And she thought it was you . . ."

"Yes. I told her and the others to wait until you woke up –"

"I'm so sorry."

"Not your fault."

"If I'd told them earlier –"

"Wasn't it you who told me there is no 'if'?"

Suki was forced to smile.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did you end up there? By the river, I mean."

"It's kind of a long story," Suki said. "But I guess I should tell you . . . it sort of involves you."

Zuko looked slightly surprised by this, but he listened in polite silence as Suki told the tale.

"The others were wondering where you were, and I told them that we should bring you back – that you didn't have anything to do with Azula's attack. Katara and I ended up shouting at each other, and I walked away. Sokka came after me, and I ended up fighting with him, too."

"What happened?"

"Well, he was with the others – he didn't quite trust you," Suki said as sensitively as she could. "And I kept saying that I knew you were good, and I knew that you were on our side. But Sokka thought that – well – he thought that I was defending you because . . ." – she wasn't sure how to put this – " . . . he thought that we were . . . together." And unreadable expression found its way across Zuko's face. "I told him that we weren't – that we were just friends because we'd been through similar stuff . . . in a way." Suki sighed and her violet eyes met Zuko's gold ones. "You're like a brother to me." Relief washed across Zuko's face. He didn't look at Suki in a romantic way. He never really had. He loved Suki – but it was not the way he loved Mai. This, he supposed, must be what it's like to have a sister. Zuko nodded in understanding, so Suki continued her story. "We kept yelling at each other, and I sort of lost control and stormed off again." Suki said. She settled herself back down and found a comfortable place for her head in the pillow. She was so very tired . . . "I ended up falling in the river. I got myself up on the riverbank, and then I must have passed out, because the next thing I knew, I was here." Suki turned over in her bed and closed her eyes.

"I should go now – you need sleep," Zuko said, standing.

"Okay," Suki mumbled.

Before Zuko could take even a single step toward the door, it burst open and Sokka exploded into the room with a wild, manic, furious yell. He slammed into Zuko, knocking him over.

Zuko scrambled to stand and get away from Sokka. "What the –" There was a dull thud as Sokka's fist connected with Zuko's jaw.

"Sokka!" Suki sprung up from her bed, all exhaustion left behind. She seized Sokka by his arms and pulled him away from Zuko. "What are you doing?!"

"I'm going to KILL HIM!" Sokka broke out of Suki's hold and he pushed Zuko against a wall, his hands around the firebender's throat. Zuko tried to pry Sokka's fingers off of his neck but was unsuccessful under the warrior's anger- and adrenaline-fueled strength.

"Sokka, get off of him! What's wrong with you?!" Suki managed to pull Sokka off of Zuko once more, but Sokka took no notice. He brought his fist back and struck Zuko in the face, sending his head crashing into the wall as blood came out of his nose. Zuko's eyes filled with the anger that had not been seen in him for some time now.

"YOU BURNED SUKI!"

This sent Zuko over the edge. He brought his foot up between them and thrust it outward. It connected with Sokka's chest, knocking him backward as Zuko shouted, "What?! You think I'd do that?!"

"STOP!" Suki was standing in between them now. Sokka was still looking murderously at Zuko, who had smoke curling from his clenched fists. Suki was looking angrily from one to the other.

"You're both being –" she let out a frustrated noise somewhere between a sigh and muffled shout. "Will you both just stop for a second? Sokka, Zuko didn't burn me."

Sokka began to protest, but Suki spoke over him.

"Will you listen to me?! For once?" There was a tired desperation in Suki's voice that got Sokka to calm himself. He was still glaring and angry, but he did stay quiet. "Sokka, the other day, after we fought, I ran off. I fell in the river, and when I got out I didn't have the energy to come back, and I fainted. I might have ended up staying there all night – and you know how cold it gets – or . . . well, it – it could have been very bad," she concluded weakly. "But . . . Zuko found me, so I'm okay now." Suki smiled at Zuko, who smiled back slightly. A look of pain, veiled by anger, moved across Sokka's face.

"What about me?! I got you out of prison. _I_ rescued you. I –"

"Sokka, I know! _Listen_. Zuko and I . . . we're like brother and sister. Like you and Katara. I'm not in love with him. I never was."

"Then why were you –"

"Think about it. What would you do if Katara didn't trust me because she thought I was the enemy? Or if she didn't trust Teo? Or Haru?"

"I'd – I'd say she was being stupid." Sokka said, sounding slightly ashamed. But the threat returned to his voice as he looked at Zuko and said, "But that doesn't explain the burn. How'd that happen?" Then he added sarcastically, "_Accident?_"

"I told you, I didn't do anything," Zuko said, the fire reappearing in his voice and eyes.

"_Really?_ Then how _did_ it happen?" Sokka took a challenging step towards Zuko.

"Sokka," Suki said warningly , trying to concentrate. A headache was approaching and it made her thoughts confused and muddy. Meanwhile, Zuko was taking a step forward saying,"I don't know, but if Suki didn't choose to tell you –"

"What does _that_ mean?!"

"Zuko," Suki sounded even more distant now.

"It means that –"

"Suki!" Sokka cried. He had glanced at her and seen that her eyes were closed and she was swaying on the spot, hands on her temples, looking as though she was about to pass out once more. He moved quickly to her side and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Suki, are you okay?" Sokka had his face close to Suki's and he could hear her uneven breathing.

A weak sound escaped Suki's lips as she let her weight fall into Sokka. He put his arms around her to hold her up.

"Suki . . ." Zuko moved closer now, looking concerned.

"Suki, say something," Sokka said softly. "Are you all right?"

"What's wrong with me?" She asked weakly. "I keep . . . I keep fainting . . ." Suki let out a sigh as she lost consciousness, falling even more into Sokka's arms.

"Should we –"

"Go get Katara," Sokka said urgently.

"But –"

"Go get Katara!" Zuko saw the wild look in Sokka's eyes as he clutched Suki's body and bolted from the room. Sokka stood still, looking around the room madly, not daring to look at Suki. Something about this scene was horribly, horribly familiar to him. _Yue_.

When Katara returned with Zuko, they found a lost-looking Sokka still standing in the middle of the room, holding Suki close to him, tears running down his cheeks. It took Katara several minutes to convince Sokka to give Suki over to her so that she could lay Suki on her bed. Despite Katara's reassurances that Suki would be fine, Sokka remained nervous and agitated for the rest of the evening.

It was very late at night when Suki woke up. She realized that someone was opening her door, and a figure slipped inside. The dark shape kneeled beside Suki's bed, and a sliver of moonlight revealed Sokka, who didn't know that Suki was listening, eyes closed now that she had seen her visitor.

"Please get better," he whispered. "I can't lose you." Sokka was crying quietly. "I'm sorry I put you through this. If I hadn't been jealous . . ." he stopped and shut his eyes tightly. "You have to get better. I'm so sorry. This is my fault. If I hadn't yelled at you . . . I'm sorry. I just couldn't stand the thought of him burning you – I can't stand it when you're hurt . . . but I've been hurting you myself. I – I don't know what to do, Suki. I don't know if I'm strong enough to help you – I don't know if I'm good enough." Sokka was crying still. "Suki, I love you so much. I'd . . . I'd give up my life for you if I had to. I love you."

"Sokka," he looked up at her. "Sokka, please don't cry."

"Suki, I –"

"Please."

Sokka fell silent. A few moments swirled by.

"Sokka," Suki said. "I love you, too. But . . . I think that . . . I think that I need to learn how to stand on my own two feet again. I think I need to be on my own for a while." Her heart broke softly as she spoke.

_AN: The next chapter will be up soon – please review in the meantime._


	12. Driftwood

When Suki woke up the next morning, she felt as though her chest was filled with sand: heavy and weighted. This, she supposed, must be what it's like to have a broken heart. She'd never had this feeling before. She wasn't hungry, even though it had been some time since she had last eaten. She didn't want to see anyone. She slept.

Sokka had spent the night at Suki's bedside. He couldn't bear to leave her. When the sun rose, it woke him up. He stood and looked at Suki – even now, he thought, she looked so beautiful – and then he left the room quietly to wash his face; tears still stained his cheeks. Because it was so early, he had the Great Room to himself. He splashed fountain water on his face, rubbing it clean, before heading back to his room to get his boomerang, intending to practice alone in the forest.

As he was coming out of his room, he found himself only a few feet away from Zuko. An uncomfortable silence passed between them before Zuko asked, "How is she?"

"Sleeping," Sokka said, not making eye contact. "She'll be okay."

"Good," Zuko said.

Another silence.

"Zuko, I'm, uhh, I'm sorry about yesterday. I just thought – and I couldn't – I didn't –"

"It's okay," Zuko said, relieving Sokka of the difficult task of putting his apology into words. "Don't worry about it."

"Did – does your –" Sokka made ambiguous hand gestures around his own face. It took Zuko a moment to pick it up.

"Oh, yeah. Katara healed me really fast."

"She did?"

"Yeah. And she was being really nice about it, too. I guess that's her way of apologizing."

"Yeah," Sokka said distractedly, his mind still on Suki.

"Are you okay?" Zuko asked.

"Fine," Sokka said. And with that he walked past Zuko. Even without Toph's earthbending powers, Zuko knew that Sokka was lying.

"Do you want to help me bring Suki her food?" Katara asked The Duke kindly (he had been asking about her all morning). He nodded with wide eyes.

Katara gathered a cup of water and various fruits and vegetables to bring up to Suki, and The Duke followed behind her carrying a bowl of white rice. Katara knocked on the door gently and paused a moment. When no response came, she pushed the door open and entered.

Suki was lying there on her back, her arms crossed behind her head, clearly awake, though her eyes were closed.

"We brought you some food, Suki," Katara said.

"Not hungry," Suki mumbled without opening her eyes.

"Well, we'll leave it here in case you change your mind," Katara said, placing the tray of fruit down on Suki's bedside table. The Duke was standing back slightly, his eyes wide and fixed on Suki.

"The Duke, you can leave that here," Katara said kindly, making space for the bowl of rice on the tray. Nervously, The Duke moved forward and placed it down.

"Suki?" he said timidly. She opened her eyes and turned to face him. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Suki said with a smile that was part sorrow. "I just need to rest. I'll be okay."

"Are you sure?" The Duke asked. Katara and Suki both smiled. It was easy to forget just how young The Duke really was.

"Positive," Suki said.

"When you do get better, will you teach me how to fight with fans like you do?" he asked. "I was watching when the Fire Nation girls attacked."

"Sure I'll teach you," Suki said. "I bet you'll be really great."

The Duke grinned.

"Yeah, I bet I will."

"The Duke, why don't you go find out what Toph and Haru are doing? Last time we left them on their own they nearly destroyed the temple in an earth duel." Katara said.

When The Duke had left, Katara stayed behind.

"Do you know where Sokka is?" she asked. "I haven't seen him all morning, and now it's almost time for lunch."

"No, I haven't seen him since last night," Suki said.

"Oh. Okay." There was an awkward pause, and Suki could tell Katara was about to say something important.

"Suki, I'm sorry I was so mean to you."

"I'm sorry, too. I know you just want to keep everyone safe."

Katara sat down on the edge of Suki's bed.

"Zuko told me a little bit about what happened the other night. He said that he and Sokka had already smoothed things over. How are you?"

"I'm . . ." It had been a very long time since Suki had a friend – a girl – she could confide in. "Do you think I could talk to you as a friend, not Sokka's sister?" She asked.

"Sure," Katara said.

"I really like Sokka," Suki started. "But I feel like I need to spend some time by myself – I mean, on my own, you know?"

"Yeah," Katara said, nodding slightly. "Did anything happen, or is it just . . ."

"I just think that's what I need," Suki said.

"Okay," Katara said. "I understand."

"Thanks, Katara."

"No problem," Katara said with a smile.

"I think I'm going to go back to sleep now."

"That's a good idea," Katara said. Suki was still rather pale and fragile-looking.

As Katara was about to leave the room, Suki said, "Katara?"

"Mmhmm?"

"I'm sorry for causing so much trouble."

"Don't be."

The girls smiled at each other.

"Whatcha doing?" Aang asked brightly.

"Practicing," Sokka said curtly, throwing his boomerang.

"How come you're so far away from everyone else?"

"I felt like it." He caught his boomerang and promptly tossed it away again.

"So . . . uh . . . how's Suki doing?" Sokka caught his boomerang and then said, "She's fine." He threw it again, harder this time.

"I wanted to visit her earlier today, but Katara said to let her sleep."

Catch.

"Mmm." Sokka wasn't really listening as he tossed his boomerang once more.

"Is something bothering you, Sokka?"

"Remember that village we went to?" Sokka asked.

Catch.

"Oh, yeah. That ONE village." Aang joked. When Sokka didn't laugh, his face fell slightly.

"I mean the one with the crazy fortuneteller."

Toss.

"You mean Aunt Wu?"

"Yeah, her."

Catch.

"Of course I remember," Aang said, blushing, thinking about Katara.

"Remember what she said about me?"

Toss.

"Yeah, something like your future –"

"'Is full with struggle and anguish. Most of it self-inflicted.'" Sokka said, parroting Aunt Wu's prediction for him.

"Yep, I remember that. But I thought that you thought she was crazy and that fortunetelling was a joke," Aang said, slightly confused and very curious.

Catch.

"I do. I just think that she might have been right – just that once."

Toss.

_AN: I meant this to be a quick chapter, just tying together loose ends. The next chapter will probably be about The Duke. I'm not sure how old he is in the show, but I decided to have him be rather young (about seven or eight, I think). Pretty please review :)_


	13. A Sister

"And if you just flick your wrist like this, the fan opens," Suki said, demonstrating.

She and The Duke had finished lunch with everyone else (though for Suki it was more like breakfast, because she had been sleeping all morning), and then headed out to a quiet spot in the woods to practice; away from the bangs, explosions, and splashes from Aang's various types of bending training.

Suki brought with her her pair of Fire Nation-made decorative fans, now her transitory weapons. Though they were by no means ideal teaching tools, they were something. Suki had started with the most basic aspect of fighting with fans: holding the fan. Suki taught him how to grip it so that it was balanced just right and how to flick it open.

Suki had never taught anyone as young as The Duke before. Sure, she had lead the girls in her age group and taught some girls just a few years younger, but the very young girls were taught by the adult Kyoshi Warriors. Suki enjoyed teaching The Duke, however, because he had a fresh enthusiasm that reminded her of her younger self; eager to learn and challenge herself. The Duke learned quickly and was quite clever, often predicting what Suki would say before she said it.

"You remind me of my sister," The Duke said about an hour into training.

"I do?" Suki said, surprised. She wasn't even aware that The Duke had a sister. She'd never heard him mention her before.

"Yeah, my sister Kita."

"How do I remind you of her?" Suki asked, intrigued.

"She knew a lot of cool stuff and she'd teach me," The Duke said, mirroring one of Suki's fan flourishes with precision.

"Oh, that sounds like fun," Suki said.

"It was," The Duke said.

"What's she doing now?" Suki asked, wondering why Kita hadn't come with The Duke when he'd joined the group.

"I don't know," the young boy answered. "A few years ago the Fire Nation took her away."

"Why did they do that?' Suki asked, her heart sinking.

"I think she stole some food or something . . . I don't really remember."

"What did your parents do?"

"I don't have parents." His tone was oddly conversational. He might have been expressing a preference for papayas or some other mundane statement.

"Oh," Suki said, unsure of how to react. "Where did you live?"

"Well, me and Kita moved around a lot . . . we lived in a lot of different places. It was sort of fun, actually. It was sort of a game . . . whoever could find a good place to sleep that night first got the bigger half of whatever food Kita got for us. Even when she won it, she gave me the bigger half, though." The Duke said. The sad realization washed over Suki. "After they took Kita away, I sort of wandered around by myself for a while . . . but then I joined up with Jet and the Freedom Fighters."

"Do you ever miss your sister?" Suki asked delicately.

"Sometimes," The Duke said. "But Jet always said that when the war was over we could find Kita."

Suki looked at The Duke's eyes, which were shining with hope. Something inside of her wanted to tell him that _of course_ they would find his sister, but something else, something stronger, stopped her. Suki felt wounded for The Duke. She'd seen enough of this war – and of the Fire Nation – to know that The Duke might never find Kita. She couldn't tell The Duke this – she wouldn't be able to bear it – but she found that she couldn't express her certainty that he _would_ find her, either. She compromised by saying, "I bet Kita misses you, too."

"You think so?" the Duke asked.

"Yeah, I do." The expression on The Duke's face told Suki that he wasn't used to being someone that others missed.

"If I left, would you miss me?" The Duke asked.

"Yes, I would," Suki said, smiling. She couldn't imagine the group without The Duke's mischief and enthusiasm, his jokes and contagious smile.

"Really?"

"Yeah."

They continued training over the course of the day, both of them very content. The Duke was happy because for the first time in his life since Kita had gone, he felt important to someone. He would be missed. _Him_. He must be something special, he thought, to have someone care enough about him not only to remember him, but to actually _miss_ him.

Suki was smiling because she had seen the changes that had come over the Duke. It filled her with a warm, lovely glow to think that just by telling him the truth she had made him so happy.

**:–:–:–:**

That evening, after dinner, Suki took some stale bread to feed to a family of turtle ducks that had taken up residence by the river. She watched the sun set as she crushed the bread into crumbs little by little before tossing small handfuls over the water.

"Suki, it's good to see you up again," Zuko said, approaching from between the trees.

"Thanks," Suki said. "It's nice to be up again. I was getting really bored being in my room all the time."

"Are you completely better?" Zuko asked.

"Not quite," Suki said. "I still feel a little shaky sometimes, and I get tired easily, but I'll be one hundred percent in a few days, I think. Especially once all of these bruises from fainting go away." She smiled.

"That's good," Zuko said. Suki broke her loaf of bread in half and handed one of the pieces to Zuko.

"Do you know what I realized while I was sick?" Suki asked.

"What?" Zuko dropped a handful of crumbs into the water. A tiny turtle duck swam over to nibble on the bread.

"I never knew that healing could hurt so much," Suki said. "In more ways than one." She didn't need to elaborate. Zuko understood.

Several minutes passed. The only sounds were those of the turtle ducks splashing around.

"How's The Duke's training going?" Zuko inquired.

"Really well," Suki said. "He's good. And he learns fast. What about Aang with firebending?"

"He's improving. He's still nervous with fire, but he's getting better all the time."

"That's good," Suki said, staring at the horizon, surrounded by a cloud of thoughts.

"What are you thinking about?" Zuko asked. He always knew when her mind was elsewhere.

"The Duke," Suki said. "Today he told me that I remind him of his sister."

"Oh."

"Well, the thing is, his sister was taken away by the Fire Nation because she stole food from them. And the way he was talking – I think he was homeless. He said that he didn't have parents and that he and his sister moved around a lot. And just after they arrested his sister, he joined the Freedom Fighters. They're a gang –"

"Yeah. I know them." Zuko was remembering, less than fondly, the gang's leader. "But what about The Duke?"

"He was talking about finding his sister when the war was over. And he so completely believed that he would find her . . . I don't think it ever occurred to him that he might not." Suki sighed. "I honestly can't remember what it's like to have that much faith. That much hope." Suki continued gazing out at the horizon as a small smile graced her lips.

"What is it?"

"I think it's beautiful."

_AN: If you were tripped up by the lack of breaks between scenes on the last chapter, I'm sorry. I tried a few different ways and none worked. Hopefully they'll work this time, or at least I can find a new way. And I forgot the theme song for the previous chapter: Let Me Try by Hope Partlow. (Guess what? I don't own Hope Partlow or her music. Go figure.)_

_Sorry this chapter took a little longer to add. I was having issues writing a satisfactory ending . . . luckily a Sunday night epiphany revealed an ending I liked. I've also been spending a lot of time working on the last chapters. I'm not sure how many chapters there will be between now and the last one. I want a few more, though. There's still stuff I want to have before the end._

_Okay! I'm really not sure what to have happen in the next chapter (I have a few vague ideas bouncing around, but nothing substantial). So, for the first time, I'm going to ask you – what would you like to see happen? Ideas? If you have something you would like to see/questions you would like answered in the next chapter(s), leave that in your review (hinthint/review/hinthint). Thank you! You all rock for R&R-ing._


	14. Litchi Memories

"I don't know if these look fresh to me," Katara said, picking up a mango. The woman running the stand muttered mutinously as Suki, Katara, and Toph walked away without buying anything.

"Are we almost done?" Toph asked bordley.

"We only just got here," Suki said.

"Yeah, but it feels like forever," Toph said. "I wouldn't have come if I'd known it would be this boring. Whenever I come with Snoozels and Twinkletoes it's a little more interesting."

"How so? It's just buying food," Katara said, sounding slightly offended.

"Yeah, well, Snoozels can make it fun," Toph said, a smile passing over her mouth.

"Well, I'm sorry I can't be as entertaining as my brother," Katara said, obviously annoyed.

"You should've at least let The Duke come," Toph nagged.

"Yeah, why didn't you let him?" Suki asked.

"Last time I brought him, he was everywhere at once," Katara said, making Suki smile. This enormous marketplace would provide The Duke with plenty of distractions and ample opportunities for running off and making trouble. Suki could well imagine Katara's exasperation at trying to keep her eye on The Duke while trying to buy food and watch out for pickpockets and thieves.

"That's what made it so fun," Toph remarked, grinning.

Katara opened her mouth to speak but Suki interjected to prevent any further arguments.

"What are we looking for now, Katara?"

"Anything that everyone can eat that's for a good price," Katara said, her eyes lingering on a bracelet that was lying on a merchant's table.

"A lovely new bracelet for a lovely young lady?" The man asked Katara, seeing her interest in his wares. Katara hesitated just slightly before Toph accidentally-on-purpose bumped into her from behind.

"You don't need any jewelry, Sugar Queen."

"I know," Katara said, walking forward. The disappointed merchant shot an angry look at Toph. Suki saw Toph jerk her head slightly to the right and she saw the merchant fall down, nearly crashing into his table as he did so. A slightly mischievous smile twitched on Toph's lips.

"Look! Litchi nuts!" Suki exclaimed, pointing to a small stand that hosted various nuts and small fruits. She hurried over to it, Katara and Toph following behind her. "My friend Shina makes the best litchi nut bread," Suki said, trying to remember the taste of it. The closest she could come was remembering the taste of gruel with litchi nuts they were sometimes served in prison.

Katara saw the longing in Suki's eyes.

"Do you want to buy some?" Katara asked. "We might even be able to make litchi nut bread. I'm sure we can get all of the ingredients."

"Really?"

"Yeah," Katara said, smiling.

Suki did her best to recall all of the ingredients, and most of them they were able to find in the market (one or two they had to find replacements for). As they shopped, the topic of conversation turned to Zuko (though they called him Lee when speaking about him in public, just to be safe).

"I don't understand why you're still worried, Katara," Suki said testily. "He's definitely with us."

"I know that he's with us . . . but . . ."

"But what?"

"Well, last time – when we were in Ba Sing Se – he almost changed . . . but I think that his sister changed his mind . . . and I'm just worried that it will happen again."

"I'm not," Suki said. "Even if he wanted to go back, he couldn't. There's no place for him there. They'd kill him. His father tried to on the day of Black Sun."

"Wait, Jerkbender's dad did what now?" Toph asked, incredulous.

"On the Day of Black Sun – during the eclipse, actually – he told his dad he was joining us. His father nearly killed him."

"How could his father kill him without his firebending?" Katara asked.

"Just a few minutes before the eclipse ended, Lee was about to walk out when his father asked him if he wanted to know what happened to his mother."

Katara's voice was hushed as she asked, "His mother?"

"Yes. And from the sound of it, she's still alive – he thinks she's been in prison since he was young."

"Oh my gosh . . ." Katara said.

"Mmm-hm." Suki said in response.

"What's he like?" Katara asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Z – Lee. What's he like? You know, when you two talk."

"Well . . . he's just like anyone else. We just . . . talk."

"But what is he _like_?"

"It's a good thing you're not being vague or anything," Toph commented sarcastically.

"Suki?" Katara prompted.

"Katara, I don't know. What do you want me to tell you? He's human like the rest of us. He misses his mother and he thinks that his sister is as crazy as you guys think she is. And he's bad at sewing . . ." Suki could tell by Katara's expression that this wasn't the answer she had been looking for. "He's . . . he's really understanding. He knows how to read people – he always knows how you're feeling and how he should act. He can almost read my thoughts," Suki said, smiling. "He used to be so serious . . . I practically had to teach him what joking was. But he's caught on. He's a good guy."

"So that's why you're not with Snoozels anymore," Toph said robustly, though there was an underlying tone of pained understanding.

"What? You think –? No," Suki said. "Lee's like my brother."

"Sokka was really beat up when you dumped him," Toph said, an undercurrent of unkindness on the word _dumped_.

"I'm sorry," Suki said. "But it's not forever."

"Oh." Toph sounded . . . disappointed?

"Well, at least Lee has a friend," Katara said, trying to smooth over the awkward pause.

"Yeah," Suki said distractedly. In her mind, she was running over what had just happened. Katara had remarked that she was worried about Zuko turning out bad. _I'm not_, Suki had replied without a second thought. _I'm not_. Suki remembered how she had felt hearing The Duke talk with the utmost faith about finding his sister. She remembered telling Zuko that she couldn't remember having the much faith in anything. She smiled. Maybe she _did_ have faith.

"Katara, do you think you could help me make the bread?" Suki asked brightly, her slightly bitter feelings towards Katara having vanished. "It's been a while . . . I was never great at cooking, but now I'm especially rusty."

Katara smiled back and said, "Of course."

**:–:–:–:**

"It's not great," Suki said, handing out slices of warm litchi nut bread, "But this is something I used to have all the time on Kyoshi – it was my favorite."

As Suki handed Sokka his piece, he thanked her. She mumbled "you're welcome" but averted her eyes. She wasn't sure how to act around Sokka anymore. She sat down between Teo and Zuko to eat.

When Suki bit into her bread, she was struck by a thousand memories and feelings from Kyoshi. On the surface, it tasted like litchi nut bread. But deep down, it tasted like home. Like Kyoshi. It tasted like a reward after a particularly hard days of training, and like comfort when things went wrong, and it tasted of sharing thoughts and secrets with her friend Shina and the other Kyoshi warriors her age, and of relaxing at the crescent bay; watching the giant koi and the unagi. It made Suki want to smile and cry at the same time. She missed her home.

_AN: For those of you who haven't yet seen "The Firebending Masters," Sokka refers to firebending as 'jerkbending,' so I thought that Jerkbender would be an appropriate name for Toph to call Zuko._

_In episode ten of season one ("Jet"), Smellerbee and Pipsqueak get caught in Fire Nation traps – thanks to Sokka :-) – and Pipsqueak asks Smellerbee if she wants her litchi nuts (the bait in the traps). I looked up litchi nuts (which are a fruit, I believe, but when they're dried, you call them litchi nuts . . . they're sorta like raisins, I imagine . . .) and I found about eight different spellings. I went with litchi. Know why? I liked it :-)_

_There will probably only be one or two chapters until the grand finale of this fic (which is looking pretty awesome, if I do say so myself . . . I know the last few haven't been fascinating, but it's about to get good), so if you have any ideas of stuff you want to see (or questions you want answered), now is the time to ask. Sorry to be annoying, but I'm now really requesting reviews: the next chapter won't go up until this chapter gets at least ten reviews. So pretty please tell me what you think!_


	15. Decisions

"Okay . . . papaya," Katara said, bending water out of the river and through one of Sokka's shirts. She and Suki were doing laundry by the river and having a good time talking like old friends.

"Hate it," Suki said, folding up a pair of clean pants and setting them down where the sun would catch them.

"Me, too," Katara said, bending the water out of Sokka's shirt and tossing it to Suki.

The two found that they had a lot in common: they both loved the warm weather here (since it meant year-round swimming), thought that poodle monkeys were ugly, missed the snow, and though that Haru was rather handsome.

"What about Zuko's tea?" Suki asked. Once or twice before, Zuko had made the group tea, a skill he had learned from his uncle, a man whom Suki had heard a lot about from Zuko.

"Fantastic," Katara said.

"Absolutely," Suki agreed, smiling.

"Hmm . . ." Katara wondered out loud. "What do you think of . . ."

Katara didn't get to finish because as she was thinking of something to ask, Teo rolled into view from between the trees on his chair.

"Hi, Teo," Suki said.

"Hi, Suki," he said, sounding nervous. "Um . . . did you leave your shoes by the fire by any chance?"

"Did I . . .?" Suki thought for a moment before her eyes widened suddenly. "_Flameit!_"

Suki scrambled up and bolted away toward the temple. Teo looked at Katara, confused.

"Flameit?"

Katara shrugged.

**:–:–:–:**

When Suki reached the Great Room, it was too late. Her shoes were now no more than charred remains of red cloth. She fished them out using a long stick since they were still hot and smoking. Suki sighed as she looked at them.

"What happened?" asked Katara, who had followed behind.

"I got them wet earlier this morning," Suki explained. "I put them down here," Suki indicated one of the stones encircling the fire pit, "to dry off so they'd be warm." When Suki was young, Oyaji, Kyoshi's leader, who had raised Suki from the time she was small, would often have Suki warm her shoes by the fire overnight so that on cold Kyoshi mornings she'd be warm. It was still a source of comfort to Suki – warm shoes. "I guess that they got knocked into the fire somehow . . ." Suki looked at Teo to confirm.

"I'm not sure what happened," Teo said. "They were there one minute, but then when I looked back at the fire a few minutes later, they were, well, _in_ the fire."

Suki nodded and said, "My guess would be that a strong gust of wind moved them." The Great Room was very large and had one wall lined with massive glassless windows that opened to the free outside air.

"I'm Sorry, Suki," Teo said. "I –"

"It's not your fault," Suki said, shaking her head. "I should have known better."

"When we go to town today, we can get you new ones," Katara said.

"Yeah," Suki said distractedly. She took what remained of her shoes in her hands and looked at them wistfully. She was only vaguely aware of Katara and Teo leaving quietly.

There was a small area of one shoe that had remained unburned and Suki ran her thumb over it. The cloth was soft and worn. Suki remembered how rough and uncomfortable these shoes had been when she'd first received them; they were the shoes she had been given in prison.

She remembered how cheaply made they were and how lacking in quality. The bottom of one had ripped during one of her escape attempts, leaving her foot exposed. She'd received a rather nasty cut on the soul of her foot on that occasion. She looked closely at the site of the injury through the dirt that had worn onto her foot from that morning. There was still a thin white scar there and if she looked closely at what was left of one of her shoes, she was certain that she could still see where she'd sewn it up.

Suki sighed and stood up. She walked to her room and tucked her shoes away in the drawer of her bedside table. She couldn't bring herself to get rid of them. As she thought about how ridiculous it was that she was missing these poor shoes, her thoughts fell back to her Kyoshi warrior boots. She missed those even more. Sturdy and strong, they could withstand almost anything. Her heart turned cold as she remembered Azula putting on her boots and saying, "Well, what do you know? Just the right fit," as she threw Suki a malevolent look. How Suki had wanted to leap at Azula, show her that even without her uniform she was still a Kyoshi warrior . . . but she didn't. It had far less to do with the shackles on her ankles and more to do with the fresh burn on her midriff she had received doing just that only an hour before . . .

Suki was generally quiet and subdued for the rest of the day. Even in the market, which she usually loved going to, failed to distract her properly. She did end up purchasing a nice new pair of shoes, but she was still feeling rather sad when they returned.

**:–:–:–:**

"I heard about your shoes," Zuko said when he found Suki by the river. "Did you really hate them that much?" One look from Suki made the laughing grin on Zuko's face vanish. "Are you okay?"

"It doesn't even make sense," Suki said. "I didn't even _like_ those shoes. It's stupid of me to miss them."

"It's fine. Everybody does weird things like that," Zuko said.

Suki fell silent for a moment, thinking.

"Maybe . . . maybe it's because they're my last piece of proof," she said, staring down into the water.

"Proof of what?"

"Of everything I've been through."

Zuko sat down beside Suki.

"You don't need proof like that."

Suki sighed.

"I guess not. But they're not even the last bit of proof – I almost forgot . . ." Suki's hand slid under her shirt to where her scar was hiding. She ran her fingers over the skin. There had once been a sharp contrast between the textures of the burned skin and of the unburned skin. But now the difference was blurred, making it difficult to tell where one part ended and the other began.

"You know," Zuko said, "Katara has – or at least had – water from the North Pole . . . the Spirit Oasis, I think she said. I don't know if she still has it, but if she does, it might work on your scar."

"Yeah, maybe," Suki said distantly.

Zuko could tell that she didn't want to talk anymore, but that she didn't want him to leave, either. He picked up a small twig from the ground and broke it in half. He then broke each half in half again, and continued to do so until the pieces were too small to break again. He tossed them one by one into the river. Suki watched him do this, glad to have something mundane to watch while her thoughts swirled.

When the last twig scrap had floated away, Suki sighed in a forlorn way and rested her head against Zuko's shoulder. Zuko put his arm around her and rested his head atop hers, hoping that she would feel better soon.

**:–:–:–:**

That night, after dinner, as everyone was preparing to head their separate ways in the temple, Suki addressed them all.

"Guys, could you all hang on for a second?" she asked, standing up. "I want to tell you all something."

"What is it, Suki?" Katara asked, concern in her blue eyes.

Suki took a deep breath.

"I've been thinking a lot lately," she said, looking around at all of them. "And I've decided . . . I've decided that I'm going home. I'm going back to Kyoshi."

**:–:–:–:**

_AN: I know that some of (if not all of) you are getting tired of filler, but just hang on! After this, there is one short chapter before it dives into the finale, which I have been preparing for for a long time and am still working on. (I think I've rewritten one part four times so far . . . ) Please review! I'm going to start doing review replies, if that's incentive. If it's not . . . well, I'm still doing review replies! The more reviews I get, the faster the next chapter goes up :D And just so we're all clear: Zuko and Suki are just friends. Completely platonic :)_

_And I have a question for you guys: We all know that Toph likes to give nicknames. What nickname do you think she'd give Suki? I've been doing brainstorming, and the only ones I've yet come up with are Fangirl and Islander, and I'm not sure if I love either of those. I might have Toph call her River, but I'm still on the lookout for something better, so some ideas/inspiration would be appreciated :) Review, please!_


	16. Bittersweet Goodbye

"What do you mean?" Katara had asked.

"I'm going back to Kyoshi," Suki repeated.

"Why?" The Duke asked in a pleading voice.

"It's been a really long time since I've been home," Suki said.

"I know, Suki," Katara said understandingly. "But how could we get you to Kyoshi? Think about it –"

"The balloon," Zuko said, standing.

"What balloon?" Katara asked.

"The war balloon I used to follow you guys here. It's still in the forest."

"Yes!" Suki's eyes lit up.

"There's only one problem," Zuko said. "Unless you're a firebender, it'll probably take two people to keep it in the air."

"Well . . ." Suki started, thinking fast.

"I'll go with you," Zuko said.

"That _would_ be a good idea," Aang said. "But we don't know how long you'd be gone, and I still need a firebending teacher."

"Suki," Katara said, "I know that you want to see Kyoshi again, but it looks like you're going to have to stay here."

"No," Suki said. "I'll find a way."

"Suki –" Aang started, but before he could say anything else –

"I'll go." It was Sokka.

"You will?" Suki asked, her eyes shining.

"Yeah. I will."

Suki was a little bit nervous about traveling alone with Sokka since things were still awkward between them, but her excitement over the prospect of finally going home overrode it.

**:–:–:–:**

It was all arranged. That day, Suki and Sokka would head out for Kyoshi. Everyone was gathered outside by the balloon to bid Suki and Sokka a bittersweet farewell.

"Bye, Suki," Teo said. "I hope you have a good time."

"Thanks, Teo," Suki said, bending down to hug him in his chair. Next, she turned to Haru.

"When you get back, let me know how the Earth Kingdom's doing," Haru said.

"Okay," Suki said, hugging him, regretting slightly that she hadn't gotten to know him better. "I'll tell you everything I see. And if we stop by your village, I'll tell your mom that you're okay."

"Thanks."

Suki turned to Aang next.

"Good luck," she said. "I hear you're doing really well with firebending."

"Yeah, well," Aang said, "Zuko's a good teacher."

"I'll see you when I get back," Suki said. "I can't let you guys have all the fun fighting the Firelord."

Aang laughed and said, "See you."

Suki stood awkwardly in front of Toph.

"Well, since you're not gonna say anything," Toph said after a moment of silence, "I might as well. See you later, River." Toph gave Suki a playful punch in the arm.

"River?" Suki asked.

"Everyone gets a nickname," Toph said, grinning. "You're always at the river, so that's yours. Oh, I almost forgot – make sure you annoy Snoozels for me while you're gone."

"All right," Suki said, laughing.

Suki moved on to Katara.

"I'm really going to miss you, Suki," Katara said. "It was really nice finally having another girl around." Suki and Katara both looked over at Toph, who cracked her knuckles and spit on the ground, bored. "You know what I mean," Katara said with a laughing smile.

"Thanks, Katara," Suki said, hugging her. "I know we've had . . . disagreements, but you're a good friend."

"Thanks," Katara said. "And don't worry about Zuko," she said softly. "I trust him."

"What changed your mind?" Suki asked excitedly.

"I was just thinking about everything that happened and everything that you said, and . . . I trust you. So I trust Zuko, too."

Suki hugged Katara again.

The next person Suki had to say goodbye to was The Duke. His eyes looked particularly glossy, as though he was trying to hold back tears as he sniffled and said, "Are you sure you're gonna go?"

"Yes, but I'm going to be back," Suki said kindly.

"Will you keep teaching me when you come back?"

"Of course."

"Can't I come with you?" The Duke asked.

"I'm sorry," Suki said. "But the group needs you here." Suki glanced at Zuko, and then said quietly to The Duke, "Keep an eye on Zuko, okay? Make sure he stays out of trouble," Suki smiled at him, and The Duke nodded, promising to do as she asked.

"I won't be gone for too long," Suki promised. "I'll miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you, too," The Duke said. Suki hugged him tight.

Suki stood up and brushed a tear from the corner of her eye. She turned to Zuko.

"I'm really going to miss you," Zuko said. "I don't know what I'm going to do without my best friend here." He smiled softly.

Suki threw her arms around him.

"Look out for The Duke for me," Suki said quietly.

"All right," Zuko said, patting Suki on the back. "I hope you find what you're looking for on Kyoshi."

Suki let out a sad-sounding laugh.

"Me, too."

Suki pulled away from Zuko and closed her eyes for a moment to stop the collecting tears from falling. She turned to Sokka, who had just been released from a tight hug by Katara.

"Ready to go?" Suki asked.

"Yep," Sokka said.

"Let's go, then," Suki said, boarding the war balloon. Sokka followed behind her. Once they got the balloon airborne, Suki watched the others grow smaller and smaller as they floated up and away. She saw Aang holding Katara's hand and The Duke standing on Zuko's shoulders, waving. Suki waved back. When at last they were too far way to see, Suki turned to Sokka.

"I'm really going home now, aren't I?"


	17. Kyoshi Part 1: Arrival

"I can't believe I'm going home," Suki said for the thousandth time. "After all this time . . ."

Suki stared out at the water, leaning over the edge of the metal basket of the war balloon.

"I think that's it!" A dark stripe had appeared on the horizon – the only strip of land for miles. "I can't wait to see everyone again. I can't wait to see the Unagi, even! You remember the Unagi, don't you?"

"Yeah, I definitely remember that," Sokka said, an image of Aang trying to ride the beast replaying in his mind.

Since Suki and Sokka had been traveling together for a few days, things were no longer awkward between them: that was really the only option. They had talked politely, though had not yet touched on very personal subjects in light of their rocky relationship.

"And Oyaji! I really can't wait to see him."

"Oyaji?"

"Yes, you met him the last time you were here. He's the leader of the village . . . and he's like a father to me." A fond smile wandered across Suki's face.

"He is?"

"Yeah, he is," Suki said. "My mother died when I was eight, and he took me in."

"What about your dad?" Sokka asked.

"I never knew my dad. He left my mom just after I was born."

"Oh," Sokka said. He wasn't quite comfortable with the matter-of-fact tone Suki spoke in, and he somehow felt slightly guilty that he hadn't known this about her.

"I'm really sorry about . . . about your mom."

"It's okay," Suki said. "I can't always remember her too well . . . but I sometimes wonder what would have happened if my dad had stayed . . ." Suki stared without seeing into the ocean below her. Then she shook her head. "Well, anyway, Oyaji took me in, so I can't have been too unlovable, and when I turned fifteen I moved into the dojo with the other Kyoshi warriors."

"Are all of the girls on Kyoshi warriors?" Sokka asked interestedly.

"No, only the ones that choose to be."

"What made you want to be a warrior?" Sokka asked, looking intently at Suki.

"Probably the same thing that made you want to be one. I wanted to fight. I wanted to protect my home. And the people I love." The saddened expression cloaked Suki's features once more.

"You're a great warrior, Suki." Sokka said softly.

"Not that great," Suki said. "I'm the only Kyoshi Warrior not in prison right now. I've failed them."

"Suki, don't say that," Sokka said "It's not your fault. When we got you out we did everything we could to find them. It's not –"

"I guess not," Suki sighed. "But still . . ."

The remainder of the flight passed in subdued silence.

They arrived on the island at roughly midmorning, landing the war balloon in the Crescent Bay, in hopes that the villagers wouldn't see the balloon and panic, and then they walked up to the village. (Or at least Sokka did; Suki was nearly running.)

Many of the villagers were gathered by the statue of Avatar Kyoshi when Suki got there, and a woman of about twenty approached Suki and demanded, "Who are you?"

"Shina!" Suki exclaimed. "It's me, Suki!"

A murmur passed through the villagers: could this girl, dressed in Fire Nation clothes, really be the leader of the Kyoshi Warriors?

Shina looked into the violet eyes of the girl in front of her.

"Suki!"

They embraced.

"I can't believe you're back! We've all been so worried about all of you! How did you get here? Was that your balloon? Where –"

"Please," Suki said. "One thing at a time. I did come in the balloon, so you don't have to worry. It's a really long story . . . I don't want to discuss it here." Suki was uncomfortably aware of everyone's eyes on her.

"Come on then," Shina said. "We can go to my place." Suki and Shina started off, walking side by side, with Sokka trailing several paces behind them.

**:–:–:–:**

"So, what happened to you guys?" Shina asked once they were all seated comfortably on cushions beside a low table.

"We ran into trouble," Suki said. "Fire Nation trouble."

Suki commenced to explain all that had happened to her and the other warriors in the past few months, starting with a minute-by-minute account of the attack. She then explained how she had been separated from the others because she was the leader and gave a brief description of her imprisonment and rescue and of how she'd been living with the Avatar and his friends at the Western Air Temple up to this point.

"So now . . . here I am," Suki said with a small shrug.

"And who is this?" Shina asked with interest, looking at Sokka.

"This is my friend Sokka," Suki said. "He's from the Southern Water Tribe. And Sokka, this is my friend Shina."

"Nice to meet you," Sokka said.

"Likewise."

Suddenly, they heard the sound of a baby crying from the next room.

"Hang on a moment," Shina said to Suki and Sokka, rising to her feet. She left the room and they could hear her speaking in hushed tones in the next room. When she returned, in her arms she held a tiny baby girl bundled in a thick, green blanket.

"Kohana, this is Suki," Shina said sweetly to her baby. "The last time she was here, you weren't even born yet."

"Oh, Shina, she's beautiful," Suki said, standing beside her friend to look at Kohana. "How could I have forgotten . . ." Kohana smiled toothlessly at Suki. "Where's Lian?"

"At the docks," Shina said. "You know – he's a fisherman."

"Oh, yeah," Suki said, remembering. "I vividly remember you joking at your wedding about being afraid that he would home smelling like fish every day."

Shina smiled broadly.

"Do you know where Oyaji is?" Suki asked as she held out a finger for little Kohana to grasp with her tiny hand.

Shina's smile dissolved and she said cautiously, "Suki, a few months ago, Oyaji got sick."

Instantly, deep down, Suki knew the truth.

"Is . . . is he feeling better?" Suki asked, trying to cling to hope, which trickled from her grasp like water.

"Suki, Oyaji . . . he couldn't . . . he didn't . . . I'm really sorry that you have to . . ." Shina sighed heavily, hating herself for being the one to tell her. "Suki, Oyaji died."

Suki stepped back from her friend.

"No," she said, as though she could make it untrue. "No!"

"Suki . . ." Shina said as Suki continued to back slowly away.

"NO!" Suki shouted. She turned and bolted from the house.

"Suki!" Sokka moved to run after her, but Shina grabbed him by the wrist and held him back. He stared at her in astonishment, but she just shook her head.


	18. Kyoshi Part 2: A Warrior's Tears

Sokka continued to stare at Shina as she calmly left the room to put Kohana back in her crib. By the time she returned, Sokka had found his voice.

"Are you just going to let her go like that?" he demanded.

"She'll _be_ okay."

"How can you say that?!"

"Suki has her own way of dealing with things," Shina said, shaking her head sadly.

"What if she hurts herself?"

"She wouldn't."

"How do you know that?!"

"I know Suki," Shina said, looking at Sokka.

"And I don't?!"

"Sokka, I know you want to help her, but –"

"She's changed since the last time you saw her."

"Sokka, I –"

"While you sit here and wait, I'm going to actually go _help_ her!" Sokka shouted before storming out.

**:–:–:–:**

Suki pounded on Oyaji's door with her fists, shouting his name. Nothing happened. She seized the doorknob and turned it, pushing the door open with all of her strength. It swung forward and hit the wall with a loud _BANG_.

Suki ran through the empty house, still calling to Oyaji. The only reply she received was her own echo. When she had gone through the whole house and found nothing, as she knew she would, she emerged, tears running down her cheeks. Her feet carried her along a familiar path down a rocky mountainside to a valley. Soon she found herself on a rock that protruded out over the river that lined the valley floor.

For the first time in her life, Suki lost all control to tears.

This was no beautiful, gentle cry. Sobs wrenched her body, sometimes so fiercely that she could hardly breathe. Her face, normally fair and clear, was red and blotchy. It matched her wet, crimson eyes. She had her fingers snaked in her hair, gripping her head as if that might bring some stability. She could feel several individual hairs pulled from her scalp as she squeezed her head harder, still sobbing. She shook her head slowly. She couldn't believe it . . . _Oyaji_ . . . She shut her eyes as a new wave of cries ripped and rocked her body.

The sun was high in the sky before Suki was suddenly startled back into reality by the sound of a twig snapping nearby. Then she heard a voice.

"Suki?"

Sokka.

She stood bolt upright on her rock, her back to him. She wiped the tears off of her face and shut her eyes tight for a moment to stop fresh ones from falling.

"Go away," she said harshly.

"Suki, I –"

"Go away!"

Sokka didn't move. He was now no more than six feet from Suki, who still had her back to him. He took several steps toward her.

"Suki, please, I just want to –"

"GO AWAY!" Suki shouted, rounding on Sokka.

Immediately she wished she hadn't.

Sokka's blue eyes swept her face. He saw everything: her angry scarlet cheeks; her wild hair; her violet-grey eyes that had turned mad with desperation, as if she was ravenously seeking an escape – an outlet – but couldn't find one.

Sokka reached out a hand to touch her face but she leapt back shouting, "I don't want you here! Leave!"

"Suki, come on," Sokka pleaded, stepping forward. "Let me –"

"NO!" Suki roared. "Just LEAVE ME!"

"No," Sokka said with quiet strength. He reached out and took Suki's hand. "Never again."

Suki stared for a moment into Sokka's clear eyes. Then she wrenched her hand out of his grip and said, "Get out."

Sokka didn't move.

"Get out!" Suki said, more forcefully this time.

He still didn't move.

"GET OUT!" Suki pushed Sokka's chest forcefully and he stumbled back. It only took him a few seconds to regain his balance and step towards her again. "Suki –"

"GET OUT!" She pushed him back. "GET OUT!" She pushed him once more before he could stand up straight. "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" Each time she said it she would push him back further and further, until – "GET OUT!" – before Suki could force him to take another step back, Sokka caught her by the wrists.

Under ordinary circumstances, Suki would have been able to fight Sokka off in a heartbeat. But now there were tears coursing down her cheeks, weakening her resistance. Gently, Sokka pulled Suki to his chest and put his arms around her. Suki continued to pound on his chest with her fists, still repeating "Get out! Get out." But like a thunderstorm that has nearly rained itself dry, she was rapidly loosing power and energy. Soon, her slackened fists were merely glancing off of Sokka's chest, and she was feebly whispering, "Get out . . . get out . . ." When Suki at last gave up her weak resistance, Sokka pulled her closer as she cried into his chest.

They stayed like this for several minutes, until Suki could regain some composure.

"Please," she murmured, pulling away slightly. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Suki, I know you're independent," Sokka said. "But that doesn't mean you have to face everything alone."

Suki pulled out of Sokka's embrace and stood by herself at the edge of the rock, her arms folded across her chest, looking over the river. She was silent for a moment.

"It always seemed like Kyoshi was so . . . static," she said at last. "Safe."

"What do you mean?"

"I never really imagined Kyoshi as changing while I was gone. I guess I expected to come back and have everyone here waiting for me . . . stupid, right?" she added with the smallest of sad laughs.

"No, that's not –"

"What was I expecting?" Suki asked rhetorically. "Everyone to be so happy that I was back that they didn't notice that the others were missing?"

"Suki, you –"

"At least he never lived to see me fail him," she said softly.

"You've survived so much," Sokka said, moving to her side. "Oyaji would be proud of you."

"What's there to be proud of? I get myself and the others captured and can't even escape," Suki said, balling her hand into a fist and putting her index finger up. "And when I do get rescued, I can't even get the others out," she continued, putting a second finger up. "And," she put a third finger up, "Now I'm back home safe and sound and they're still out there, probably being tortured for information right now!"

"You're not being fair to yourself," Sokka said, his voice strong. "Azula nearly killed Aang – no one can beat her. Especially not when she's with those other two." Suki began to protest but Sokka continued over her, raising his voice. "Before you, _no one_ had ever escaped that prison, and the fact that you made attempts with even the smallest amount of success was unheard of! And it took me, Toph, Katara, and Aang working together to get you out, and we barely made it out alive!"

"And the others –"

"You said you'd been separated, even sent to different prisons! We looked for them, and it's because of you we even knew where to look. We tried to find out where they were but we just couldn't."

Every word Sokka said was true, but Suki didn't want to hear it.

"If I'd gotten out earlier, I would have been able to be here when Oyaji got sick. I bet it's because he was so worried about us that he _got_ sick. If I hadn't suggested that we leave . . . maybe . . ." Suki stopped and turned away from Sokka once more.

"Suki, you can't blame yourself for what happened," Sokka said with firm gentility. "And you can't change the past. Look at all the good you've done."

Suki turned to him.

"What good? I helped break the no-escape record? I haven't done anything! That's probably why the spirits make everything go wrong for me."

"You're not seeing clearly," Sokka said. "You helped refugees to the ferry –"

"To the city now occupied by the people who made them refugees . . ."

Sokka paused for a moment.

"Zuko!" he said.

"Zuko?" Suki repeated. "Zuko helped me more than I –"

"Come on, before he was friends with you he was by himself all of the time. None of us trusted him. You made him one of us. You got us to trust him!"

"Okay, so maybe I helped one person. But that doesn't mean that –"

"The Duke," Sokka said quickly. "You should hear the way he talks about you – you're his favorite person. He loves learning to fight with you. And you were the first person to know about his past – Zuko told me – I don't think The Duke would have told anyone else about his sister. And," he continued, coming to a realization, "You got Zuko and The Duke to be friends – you saw them while we were flying away." Sokka stopped talking and looked hopefully at Suki. She looked at him sadly before she sighed and turned away. She sat down on the rock, her legs dangling over the edge, above the water.

Sokka stayed back for a moment, unsure.

"Me," he said softly at last.

"What?" Suki turned around to look at him.

"Me," he said again, sitting beside her. He looked down at the water rather than at her as he spoke. "When you first came to the Western Air Temple, I kept making you these promises I couldn't keep. I didn't mean to, but I did." Sokka took a deep breath. "Before I met you, I thought that I was one of the greatest warriors ever," he let out a small laugh. "And I though that being a warrior was all about being brave in battle and defeating enemies. But it's not." Sokka looked at her. "It's about a lot more than that." He looked back down at the water. "I was so immature and selfish," he said. "I wanted everything to be all right, but I wasn't willing to work to make it better. But then . . . I saw how strong you were – you _are_ – and I just . . ." Sokka looked back up at Suki. "You make me want to be a better person."

"I do?" Suki asked quietly.

"Yes," Sokka said. "And even though you've made mistakes . . . and everything didn't work out the way you planned . . . I think that Oyaji would be proud of all the good you've done for us, and how you've survived everything that's happened. Not just anyone could go through everything you have and still be so . . ." Sokka trailed off as he struggled to find the right words. He looked back up at Suki and saw that she was crying silently.

"Suki –"

"I just wish," Suki said. "That I could have seen him . . ." She shook her head and a tear fell into her lap. Suki turned slightly away from Sokka as she cried. But then she remembered that he, too, had had a parent taken from him.

She turned back to him and asked, "Will it ever get any easier?"

Sokka looked at her. He didn't know what to say.

Suki put her face in her hands and cried. She felt Sokka's arms around her and she let herself lean on him because it was so nice to know that he was there.

**:–:–:–:**

The sun was low in the sky, and Suki was still in Sokka's arms, her eyes closed, her breathing steady and rhythmic.

"Suki?" Sokka said softly.

Suki let out a soft, "Mmm?", and Sokka could tell that she was nearly asleep. He laid her down on the ground gently and pulled the hood of Katara's borrowed coat over her head so she wouldn't be cold. Suki sighed as she settled herself into a comfortable position. Sokka looked at her for a moment before bending forward to kiss her forehead – but she rolled over, turning her back to him at the last moment.

Sokka moved several feet away from her and stretched out on his back, looking at the sky. His thoughts kept him company as he watched the sun set and the stars appear like diamonds spilled across black silk. One of the last thoughts that crossed his mind before he fell asleep was that throughout all that had happened that day, Suki had never stopped looking beautiful to him.

**:–:–:–:**

_AN: I'm really sorry I've been so slow with the updates recently . . . first there was the end-of-school-year cram (and finals!), and then when school was out I was still very busy, and then I started getting preoccupied with my newest fanfic, "Therapy for the Frequently Shipped Character": my first ever humor fic (if you don't mind having all of your favorite shippings made fun of you should check it out!). Also with this chapter, I had several handwritten versions to sift though to figure out what to type up. Okay, from now on I'm going to try to be much better about not leaving a long time between updates. In my defense, though, the first draft of this chapter ended when Sokka said "Never again." But then I felt like I really should include more, and because it was such a pivotal moment it took a long time to finalize. This chapter probably went through more major changes than any other. Review, please! I want at least ten before the next chapter goes up. The more reviews I get, the faster it goes up!_


	19. Kyoshi Part 3: Horizon

AN: In a few days I'm going to post some "deleted scenes" – so stay tuned

_AN: This is the last real chapter, but in a few days I'm going to post some "deleted scenes" – so stay tuned! And review, please!_

**:–:–:–:**

When Suki awoke the next morning, it was to the sounds of light splashing. She opened her eyes slowly, blinking in the bright sunlight. She saw that Sokka was sitting by the river, splashing water on his face and arms and running his fingers through his hair.

Suki sat up and brought a hand to her face. It still had that tight and uncomfortable feeling that follows heavy tears. She slid down from the rock and knelt by the river to wash her face. Upon hearing the noise, Sokka said quietly, "Hey, Suki. How're you feeling?"

"I guess I'm okay," Suki said. "Thank you for . . . you know . . . being there. You're a good friend."

"Yeah, it was . . . it was no problem."

"I'm going to go find Shina," Suki said.

"Okay. I'll be around."

Suki walked away, trying to bring order to her confused mind.

Sokka stayed by the river, his thoughts ebbing and swirling like the water he was watching without seeing.

**:–:–:–:**

"Suki! How are you?" Shina asked upon seeing Suki at her front door.

"I've . . . I've been better," Suki said. "But considering . . . I'm all right," Suki said.

"That's as well as can be expected," Shina said as they entered the sitting room. "Did Sokka ever find you yesterday?"

"Yeah, he did."

"I'm sorry I didn't come after you myself, I just thought that –"

"I know. It's okay. I think that Sokka was the right person to help me just . . . under the circumstances . . ." Suki looked at Shina, hoping she would understand. Shina smiled softly and nodded.

"I have something for you," she said, her eyes lighting up. "Wait here a minute." Shina disappeared into a room at the back corner of her house for a moment, and when she emerged she held a thick, green bundle.

"What's this?" Suki asked as Shina handed it to her.

Shina said nothing, but her smile broadened.

Suki unfolded the dark emerald silk until –

"Oh, Shina!" Suki threw her arms around her friend. "How did you get it?"

"A little luck," Shina said. "I found your old measurements and we had some stuff that was about right . . . it might not be perfect –"

"It is." Suki pulled away from Shina to examine what she held in her hands: a Kyoshi Warrior uniform. "I can't believe this! How –"

"I found an extra about your size . . . I had to make some adjustments . . . I hope it's okay," Shina said.

"Thank you," Suki said, hugging Shina again.

"It was nothing," Shina said, patting Suki on the back.

"Not to me."

Suki carried her gift into Shina's bedroom to change. To her, putting on the uniform once more was like coming in from a storm to warm, waiting arms.

First, Suki removed and neatly folded her Fire Nation clothes, leaving only her white undergarments on. Suki took a moment to look at herself in the mirror. She was leaner now than she had been before. She put her hands on her hips as she looked at her scar. When the injury was new, it hurt just to move. Now, as she rotated her hips and moved around, it moved with her; it twisted and adjusted across her body like the rest of her skin. She ran a hand over it. It was part of her now.

Suki first donned the green silk layers of her dress and skirt She'd forgotten just how soft the material was, how it flowed, and how it smelled of home. Next, she put on her arm guards and soft body armor. She tied the green sash at her waist within seconds; once it was in her hands she was able to do it in one fluid, familiar motion. It was as if only yesterday she'd been doing the same. Her gloves came on next, tucked neatly under her sleeves and arm guards. Suki then put on her socks and a pair of boots, which were crisp and new. Then she sat in front of the mirror and carefully, layer by layer, applied her makeup.

The creamy white base went on first with the aid of a cloth. Suki slowly circled it around until each inch of visible skin was covered. Next, she added her red eye makeup with careful, deliberate strokes. She outlined her eyes and the red with black, using a brush. Finally, with a new brush, Suki painted her lips.

The last thing Suki put on was her headband. Somehow, Shina had acquired one exactly like her old one. Except for one key difference: embroidered in the green cloth with fine gold thread was Suki's name and an old Earth Kingdom adage: _Never give up without a fight._

Suki gave herself one last look in the mirror as she tucked a new set of fans into her sash. She smiled at herself and realized it had been a very long time since she'd seen herself do so. She left the room and found Shina standing by a window with Kohana in her arms, singing softly to her.

"Shina, I can't thank you enough," Suki said. Shina turned and took in the sight of her friend. Her eyes lit up.

"You look amazing," Shina said breathlessly. "Something's changed about you since the last time I saw you in uniform."

"A lot has changed about me," Suki said with a soft laugh.

"I know," Shina said. The two fell silent for a moment. "Do you know what you're going to do now?" Shina asked at last.

"I'm not sure," Suki said. "I still have to figure it out."

**:–:–:–:**

Sokka walked along the shoreline of the crescent bay, kicking a round seashell in front of him as the giant koi fish swam in and out of sight in the background.

"Hey, Sokka, wait up!"

Sokka turned to see Suki, in full Kyoshi ensemble, running towards him. He stopped and watched in astonishment.

"How'd you – I mean, where'd you –"

"Shina gave it to me," Suki answered as she slowed to a stop before him.

"You look –" Sokka realized he was staring at her. He tore his eyes away and continued walking. "– like a warrior."

"Thanks," Suki said uncertainly, falling into step beside Sokka.

There were a few moments of silence while they both slipped into their own thoughts.

"So . . . I said goodbye to Shina," Suki said.

"What?" Sokka asked, all of his attention suddenly on Suki.

"And I packed everything up – Shina gave me a few things, I even have fans for The Duke –"

"Wait, what do you mean?"

"I want to go back," Suki said, stopping and facing Sokka.

"Why? We just got here! You –"

"I know," Suki said apologetically. "But time is running out."

"Time for what?"

"Summer is going to be over soon," Suki said.

"And?"

"The comet."

"Oh. But what does that have to do with –"

"All I wanted was to see Kyoshi again," Suki said. "And I have."

"Yeah, but –"

"Where do you want to be when it's time for the final battle?" Suki asked, stopping Sokka's questions in their tracks.

"Me? I . . ." Sokka looked around as if the right words might be etched in the sand somewhere nearby.

"You want to be fighting as much as I do," Suki said. "And – let's face it – they need you to help plan."

"Are you sure you want to go back? I mean –"

"I'm glad I came," Suki said. "I think I made the right choice. But staying? that would be selfish. This war isn't over yet and I can't just sit here and wait until it is."

"Okay . . . but why all of this so suddenly?" Sokka asked.

"Because," Suki said, beginning to walk once more. "The Kyoshi Warriors are still out there. And if we don't rescue them before the final battle, I at least want to be the one unlocking the prison gate. They're my reason for fighting. Or at least," Suki glanced at Sokka and then out at the horizon. "One of my reasons." Suki finished speaking and fell silent.

"Do you want to leave _now_?" Sokka asked.

"I think so," Suki said, looking back at the island.

"Then let's go," Sokka said, turning around to head for the balloon.

"There's no way to know what'll happen in the future," Suki said as they walked. "After the battle, win or lose, we don't know what's going to happen. We don't even know if we'll all survive." Suki paused, knowing she was the first to verbalize this truth. "All we know is that we're in for the fight of our lives. And," Suki looked at Sokka. "I know that I want to walk into battle with you."

Suki took Sokka's hand in her own. Their fingers intertwined as they set out to face the future.

**:–:–:–:**


	20. An Author's Reflections & Deleted Scenes

If you would like to skip my overemotional reflections, feel free to scroll down to the deleted scenes (Just after this mark **:–:–:–:**). Don't worry, I don't mind :)

I've been working on _Healing Suki_ for a long time, and it's so weird to think that it's all done. It's also strange to think that I only started writing fanfics in December of 2007. It feels like I've been writing them forever.

Looking back on _Healing Suki_, there are some parts I look at and think, "That's awesome!" or "I'm really proud of this," and other parts make me want to vomit and/or scream. I often end up thinking, "Why did I let that get posted?!" or "How much angst was I on that day?" One of these days I'll revise it and replace the chapters with the updated version. But for now, I'm looking at what I have and what it's taught me. I feel like I've learned a lot from this fic, and I'm certain that my next long one (an untitled and untyped fic about Smellerbee) will be much improved in terms of how well it's written because of _Healing Suki_.

_Healing Suki_ started as a oneshot titled _Damaged_. Yep, a oneshot. Take a simplified version of chapter one and add it to chapter two and you've got pretty much what this started as. To be perfectly honest, I liked the idea of Suki trying to . . . you know . . . with Sokka because she was desperate to know someone loved her and Sokka stopping her because he loves her. Then I thought, _I want to do more with this. I'd like to see what happens afterward_. And I had no idea what would happen. I just started writing. And then I liked the idea of her being friends with Zuko and then I got the idea of The Duke, and stuff just sort of happened. I had lots of ideas that never made it into the final cut (other than the deleted scenes below), including Suki taking bread from a little boy while she was in prison because she was starving. But then I decided that whatever Suki did or didn't do in prison was for her alone to know, so that never made it into the final fic. I wasn't sure how to end it, either. There was a time I thought of an ending where Zuko died, and then I realized I could never do that. At least, not in this fic. And I also thought about Sokka dying in the end, but about a minute after that idea occurred to me I shot it down. I also had a really big piece that I cut out and am going to post as its own fic about Suki learning sword fighting. I really like it because it's light and funny (and a little romantic).

Anyway, now _Healing Suki_ is over and I'm going to miss it, but I'm also really excited to finally start my new fics, which have been sitting patiently in my notebook for some time now and are quite anxious to get typed and posted. I hope you all check them out!

**:–:–:–:**

Here are some "deleted scenes" from _Healing Suki_ that didn't make it into the final cut for various reasons.

**:–:**

_This scene would have taken place at some point after the battle and Suki's illness, but I couldn't really find a place for it without it being just a random distraction._

"There you are," Suki said, stopping in the doorway to Zuko's room. He was lying on his bed, looking at something he held in his hand, but upon seen Suki he hurriedly stood up and slipped it into his pocket. Whatever it was flashed in the light from Zuko's window.

"What?" he asked, obviously trying to divert Suki's attention from his peculiar action.

"What was that?" Suki asked, glancing from Zuko's face to his hand.

"Nothing," he said hurriedly. "Is dinner ready yet?"

"Yes – that's why I came to get you, but –"

"I'm starving," Zuko said, with too much enthusiasm.

"Come on, what was it?" Suki asked playfully, though there was an undertone of seriousness.

"It was nothing," Zuko said, not meeting her eye.

"Come on, you can tell me," Suki said.

"I don't think that –"

"I promise I won't laugh at you," Suki said, grinning.

"That's not what I'm worried about."

"What do you mean?"

"If I show you, will you promise not to get mad?"

"I promise."

Zuko sighed and removed from his pocket a small blade, holding it up so that Suki could see.

"It's Mai's," he explained after a moment.

"Oh," Suki said as it sunk in.

"I know you don't like her – and you've got good reason to – but –"

"It's okay," Suki said. "You really miss her, don't you?"

"Yeah," Zuko said. "I think I really hurt her when I left. And I didn't mean to, but . . ." he trailed off.

"Yeah," Suki said darkly.

"I'm sorry," Zuko said. "I didn't mean –"

"No, don't worry about it. I'll just never be able to see eye to eye with you regarding her. You understand, don't you?"

"Yeah." There was an awkward silence.

"We'd better go get some food before it's all gone," Suki said.

"Right," Zuko said. They walked out the door in silence.

**:–:**

_This is another Suki/Zuko scene, but it is light and happy. And short. This would go at some point during or just before Bittersweet Goodbye. Basically, Zuko and Suki are talking and the subject of Aang comes up. It doesn't have a real ending . . . it just sort of ends. But I think it's cute :)_

"Aang's getting really good at firebending," Zuko said.

"Wait, what?" Suki asked, staring at Zuko.

"I said that Aang is good at firebending," Zuko said cautiously. "Why are you looking at me like that?" There was a huge smile on Suki's face.

"You said Aang's name," Suki said.

"Yeah? So?" Zuko asked, starting to sound vaguely defensive.

"It's just that –" Suki laughed. "– you've never called him Aang before. Only 'The Avatar'."

"Really?" Zuko said, surprised.

"Yeah!" Suki said.

"I seriously only ever called him The Avatar before?"

"Yep," Suki said.

"Huh," Zuko said, thinking back.

_I just realized Zuko does actually refer to Aang by name in an early chapter. . . but if he hadn't, I think this would have been cute._

**:–:**

_This one I really liked the idea of, and it would have gone sometime between Driftwood and Decisions; sometime when Suki and Katara are good friends. Basically what's going on is that Sokka wants Katara to tell him what Suki thinks about him. Looking at it now, I kind of wish it _had _made it to the final cut . . ._

"So . . ." Sokka said, approaching Katara as she sliced vegetables and fruits for dinner. "What's going on?"

"I'm making dinner," Katara said suspiciously. "Why?"

"I'm just checking up on how my little sister is doing," Sokka said with a huge, toothy smile.

"Well, I could use some help preparing these," Katara said, indicating the ocean kumquats in a bowl beside her, figuring that as long as Sokka was going to pester her about whatever it was he was about to pester her about, she might as well get some help in the process.

"Sure thing, little sis," Sokka said brightly, sitting beside her and taking a kumquat and beginning to peel it as Katara rolled her eyes. "So, how are things with you?"

"I'm just fine," Katara said.

"And your friends?"

"They're your friends, too," Katara said.

"Yeah, well . . . how was the market?" Sokka asked.

"Busy," Katara said, understanding what Sokka was aiming for. She'd gone to the market the other day with Suki.

"So, while you were waiting in lines and such," Sokka said, trying – and failing – to sound offhand and nonchalant. "What did you two ladies talk about?"

"Girly stuff," Katara said, grinning inwardly. "You know, hair . . . makeup . . . that sort of thing."

"I see. What else?" Sokka asked with too much interest.

"Other girly stuff. Clothes. Boys." Katara stopped to watch her brother's reaction. After the initial _aha!_ expression, Sokka arranged his features to look politely interested.

"Boys?" He said. "What did you guys have to say about them?"

"Oh, nothing," Katara said. Of course, the truth was that they had discussed Sokka briefly, but Katara had been sworn to secrecy and had no desire to break her promise.

"Did she . . . mention me?" Sokka asked. He held his breath, waiting for Katara's answer.

"You know, I just can't remember," Katara said, standing up and picking up a plate of chopped vegetables. "And even if I could," she smiled mischievously, "I wouldn't tell you."

"But, but –" Sokka babbled as Katara walked away. "Come on, Katara!"

Katara continued to walk away, pretending not to hear him.

"Katara!" Sokka tried to stand and run after her, but he took one step and tripped, landing on the pile of peeled ocean kumquats. They burst, squirting juice everywhere. As Sokka lay there, looking rather pathetic, he called weakly, "Come on, Katara . . . at least help me up . . . Katara?"

**:–:**

_This isn't so much a deleted scene as a deleted line . . . but anyway . . . When Suki was crying in A Warrior's Tears I wanted to have a little part where it said that_

Sokka held Suki tighter as he fought back tears of his own. It just hurt him so damn much seeing Suki in this much pain.

**:–:–:–:**

I'm going to make on final review request. I know that WAY more people are reading then are reviewing, so I'm asking for your final thoughts on _Healing Suki_ as a whole. What parts/aspects did you like? What needs improvement? When I go back and do revisions (which I **will** do at some point!) what should I change/edit? Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? (Wait . . . scratch that last one.) I put a lot of work into this and I'd really like to hear your thoughts. It only takes a minute. And any of you that are authors know how much reviews mean :) So PLEASE review! Thanks!


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